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You want a Muffin?

douglas

Chocolate Milk Doug
May 15, 2002
9,887
6
Shut up and Ride
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/gossip/story/330221p-281994c.html


Muffin-top mayhem!

Can you smell what's cooking in New York? It's a
fresh batch of muffin tops — summer's new faux pas

By MARK ELLWOOD
DAILY NEWS WRITER


Ladies, it's time to admit the pants don't fit...


...Trash 'em and keep your spare tire under wraps.


Kelly Clarkson looks great, usually. But what was up with this getup at a recent concert?

Forget wearing white after Labor Day - there's a new fashion violation in town.
It's called a muffin top: that unsightly roll of flesh that spills over the waist of a pair of too-tight pants, like a muffin bursting out of the pan. And this fashion affliction hits celebrities as much as civilians, according to In Touch magazine's Jarrett Weiselman. "Queen of the muffin top is Courtney Love," he says. "And before she got pregnant, Britney Spears was also guilty."

Christina Aguilera is a reformed muffin topper, often spotted onstage during her wild-child period in a pair of badly fitting pants accessorized with an ample tummy roll. Kelly Clarkson is also a repeat offender. "Especially when Kelly first won 'American Idol,' the muffin top was the one thing that was common in everything she wore - nothing fit right." And her tummy can still be seen rising over the pants she's poured herself into on tour this month.

And it isn't just femme fatales that shop at the belly bakery; screen hunks can sometimes fall victim, too. Their condition? Stud-muffin top.

Matt LeBlanc has been known to top-out, and at the "Wedding Crashers" premiere, Vince Vaughn was hanging out a bit over his pants.

Midriff-bearing men needn't worry as much as their girlfriends, though: the problem's less acute in guys, says Shop Etc's fashion editor Kate Dimmock. "It definitely can happen, but isn't as exaggerated: Men are less inclined to force something. While women will say, 'I'm going to wear this no matter what,' men will say, 'This doesn't fit me, so I won't wear it."

Dimmock's point is crucial. The muffin-top problem isn't about fat but about bad fit: Even skinny supermodels can risk a tummy crust if they jam themselves into the wrong pair of jeans.

"If you don't dress right for your body, it doesn't matter what you're wearing," Weiselman notes. "Unless you have abs of steel, wearing anything that's too tight will immediately result in a muffin top."

And low-rise jeans have made things only worse: Where traditional jeans had a thinning silhouette, hitting at the waist, low-riders sit at the hips - or what Life & Style's Tamara Glenny calls "the bulging point."

Glenny also cautions that ill-fitting tops are as deadly as too-tight pants. "Tight stretchy tops are a problem, even though we always think of stretch as a good thing," she explains. "There's only so much stretch can do: if there's a lot of you, and not enough stretch, it actually enhances the muffin top."

Of course, that muffin top tends to occur just after you've gained weight (that extra hamburger or two on the barbecue all summer can pile on the pounds). If you are a little heavier than usual, you have a choice. Either admit it to yourself, buy a larger size and look as good as ever, or deny it entirely, squeeze into the same old jeans and show the whole world your bakery special.

"People think that wearing something tighter is going to be more flattering, when it's just the opposite," says Dimmock.

But those who follow every fashion rule and still suffer from a little tummy crust needn't worry - it does have one tasty benefit, according to Dimmock. "Men seem to like it," she says. "My husband likes to grab my muffin top and give it a little squeeze."

* * *

Summer's least tasty fashion violation is busting out all over town. Here's how to avoid it.


Tip 1: Minimize, sister!

Pick up the same magic underwear that Gwyneth Paltrow used to stay skinny-looking in the weeks after Apple's birth. "When Gwyneth still had some baby flab, she wore these amazing minimizer things called Spanx body shapers - like a tube, they can roll over any spot on your torso," Life & Style's Tamara Glenny says. Get 'em at www.spanx.com.

Tip 2: Get waist-ed

If you're still devoted to those hipsters, "look for a wider waistband on the trouser, or wear a wide belt with them - it holds you in a little bit more," says Kate Dimmock of Shop Etc.

Tip 3: Junk the hipster jeans


"There's a return to a higher rise right now - a lot of the super, uber-cool people aren't wearing tight, low-rise jeans anymore," says Glenny. For men, Dimmock suggests jeans by James Cured by Seun, which have a special, muffin top-fighting feature: an extra inch of room in the crotch for a comfier, less-constricting fit.

Tip 4: Cover it up

Wear floaty summer dresses, since they always offer a muffin-top-free silhouette. "Longer, Empire-waisted tops are also very trendy now, and they help everyone," says Glenny. "Made from soft, silky material, they hang gracefully instead of gathering tightly at the waist." You can still wear a midriff-baring baby doll; just remember to slip it on over a longer waisted tee, which then holds in any flab.
 

bluebug32

Asshat
Jan 14, 2005
6,141
0
Floating down the Hudson
Right, who cares....

But this is pretty funny because some of the prostitots I see in the mall, squeezed into pants a size too small, definitely have that nasty roll of fat flabbing over the top of their pants, as if it's trying to escape.
 

Ciaran

Fear my banana
Apr 5, 2004
9,841
19
So Cal
bluebug32 said:
Right, who cares....

But this is pretty funny because some of the prostitots I see in the mall, squeezed into pants a size too small, definitely have that nasty roll of fat flabbing over the top of their pants, as if it's trying to escape.
And then they go and wear a cropped shirt so they show off all their fat rolls. Sad... just sad. Whatever happened to the nice heart shaped ass?
 

dh girlie

MISS MISSY (geek)
I saw this girl at the mall ahead of me on the escalator...I was kinda embarassed for her...her pants were SO tight that she had to do this weird walk to get on the escalator...like she had to keep her leg straight to get it up on the step like a pimp walk...and her ass was forced flat witha big crease under the cheek above the thigh...If I were that girls mother, I would be like no way...no one sees the size tag in your jeans buy what fits...jeebus...sad.
 

punkassean

Turbo Monkey
Feb 3, 2002
4,561
0
SC, CA
I have always seperated this phenomena into two parts, the front being "party-slut gut" and the rear being "bacon-back". Many people are only affected by one of these preventing them achieving the complete "muffin-top" as described in the article.

Just remember ladies, it's a privelidge not a right! :D ;)
 

MTB_Rob_NC

What do I have to do to get you in this car TODAY?
Nov 15, 2002
3,428
0
Charlotte, NC
you know the fashion industry could solve this problem so goddarn easy. Dont make low rise jeans/mini skirts/belly shirts/tube tops/hot tank tops in anything but small.(maybe medium) Ok so we will lose a few hot taller/big girls, but the payoff will be SO worth it.

:thumb:
 

Toshi

butthole powerwashing evangelist
Oct 23, 2001
39,721
8,733
punkassean said:
I have always seperated this phenomena into two parts, the front being "party-slut gut" and the rear being "bacon-back". Many people are only affected by one of these preventing them achieving the complete "muffin-top" as described in the article.

Just remember ladies, it's a privelidge not a right! :D ;)
fupa!!! ahha
 

bluebug32

Asshat
Jan 14, 2005
6,141
0
Floating down the Hudson
Mtb_Rob_FL said:
you know the fashion industry could solve this problem so goddarn easy. Dont make low rise jeans/mini skirts/belly shirts/tube tops/hot tank tops in anything but small.(maybe medium) Ok so we will lose a few hot taller/big girls, but the payoff will be SO worth it.

:thumb:
I'm with ya. As a chick, these clothes tend to be uncomfortable anyway and only the fat, skanky girls tend to wear this stuff, not the ones who are really attractive.
 

MTB_Rob_NC

What do I have to do to get you in this car TODAY?
Nov 15, 2002
3,428
0
Charlotte, NC
bluebug32 said:
skanky girls tend to wear this stuff, not the ones who are really attractive.
Skanky and really attractive are not mutually exclusive :eviltongu
















oh wait, that is slutty and attractive..... Sorry I got confused :thumb: