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A cock ring for your upper head

Discussion in 'Downhill & Freeride' started by slimshady, Oct 25, 2017.

  1. slimshady

    slimshady Turbo Monkey

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    The latest and greatest way to avoid concussions seems to be keeping your upper head the way you wanna keep your lower one te ensure maximum happyness: inflated with blood. In theory this limits the amount the brain can move back and forth in a sudden deceleration event, thus preventing neuronal damage.





    The theory seems solid, although some of the justifications -such as "there are less concussions at higher altitude because the lack of oxygen makes your heart pump more blood to your head" vs "there are less concussions at higher altitude simply because there are less concussion-prone activities (and people) there"- leaves me wondering about it.
    What do you guys think?
     

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  2. johnbryanpeters

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    Magnets.
     
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  3. norbar

    norbar Turbo Monkey

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    They have a kickstarter yet. Do they know the guys who made a pure laser shaving machine and that mug that told you what you put inside (yeah I know what you want to put there you monkies)
     
  4. FlipSide

    FlipSide Monkey

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    They should add some (carefully positioned) anti-vibration stickers on that thing.
     
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  5. norbar

    norbar Turbo Monkey

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    Don't forget holograms
     
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  6. jonKranked

    jonKranked Press Button, Receive Stupid

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  7. StiHacka

    StiHacka Compensating for something

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    i͓̽t͓̽ i͓̽s͓̽ fu͓̽l͓̽l͓̽ o͓̽f s͓̽t͓̽a͓̽r͓̽s͓̽
    If it restricts blood flow in and out of your cranium, is it practically ... a portable bong shed?
     
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  8. slimshady

    slimshady Turbo Monkey

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  9. KenW449

    KenW449 something stupid

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    Then when you're done shredding, you can go home and your dominatrix can scold you for getting dirty.
     
  10. troy

    troy Monkey

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    I think that You should read the text in the bottom part of the vid.
     
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  11. StiHacka

    StiHacka Compensating for something

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    i͓̽t͓̽ i͓̽s͓̽ fu͓̽l͓̽l͓̽ o͓̽f s͓̽t͓̽a͓̽r͓̽s͓̽
    So what exactly does it do? Make you feel worse so you feel a lot better after you take it off, like a pair of too small shoes?
     
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  12. kidwoo

    kidwoo Celebrating No-Pants Day

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    So it pools blood in a system not designed for it (your head vs a woodpecker's). Seems like a great recipe for an aneurysm.

    This fine bit of canadian engineering brought to you by the same folks responsible for brodie suspension bikes!
     
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  13. slimshady

    slimshady Turbo Monkey

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    ... and Knolly extra links.

    Canadia, overcomplicating stuff since 1982.
     
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  14. 'size

    'size Turbo Monkey

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    only available in canada. i guess the canadian oversight people were just too polite to say 'this needs more looking into before we approve a device that lets people fuck with the blood flow to and from the brain for hours while exercising'.

    mildly increases blood volume to the venous structures around the brain. This appears to reduce the movement of the brain inside the skull.
    good enough!

    The NeuroShield collar can be worn for up to four hours at a time. because just maybe fucking with the blood flow to and from the brain for extended periods of time isn't awesome?

    also it specifically says it doesn't prevent concussions.
     
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  15. KenW449

    KenW449 something stupid

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    Should i consult with a doctor if i decide to fuck with blood flow for more than 4 hours after donning this device?
     
  16. 'size

    'size Turbo Monkey

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    I remember being 10 and watching other kids squeeze the sides of their necks to cut off blood flow to get light-headed and fall over, gradually come to and laugh at how awesome it felt. imagine what that must feel like while riding your bicycle...
     
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  17. Flo33

    Flo33 Monkey

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    I once witnessed a stroke. Was not that sexy.

    I'll pass on this one.
     
  18. WestCoastHucker

    WestCoastHucker Turbo Monkey

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    he calls it a novel idea right at the end...
     
  19. Trekrules

    Trekrules Turbo Monkey

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  20. Electric_City

    Electric_City The orangutans are loose!

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    It might be useful if it was smaller and got blood to your other head.

    Viagra be gone!
     
  21. slimshady

    slimshady Turbo Monkey

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    hence the thread title :brows::busted:
     
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  22. sethimus

    sethimus Turbo Monkey

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    i only know the mug you can have a coffee and wake and bake with, as well the one you can have your cereals and wake and bake with it. pure genius i tell you!
     
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  23. jackalope

    jackalope Mental acuity - 1%

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    Do they have a Michael Hutchence signature edition?
     
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  24. norbar

    norbar Turbo Monkey

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    But people wont give you a few milion USD for it despite the fact it is much more real to what I mentioned. Love those kickstarters with impossible tech
     
  25. Sandwich

    Sandwich just shake your rump
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    such a bad idea to voluntarily restrict bloodflow, especially around your noggin. yuck. i guess if you got a bad brain, squeeze it till it works better?
     
  26. Jm_

    Jm_ Turbo Monkey

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  27. Nick

    Nick My name is Nick

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    LBS: this will help prevent brain injuries
    Me: (mumbles) choke me
    LBS: what?
    Me: what?
     
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