Two guys walked into a bar. Neither were looking.
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- Thread starter binary visions
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Traveling salesman suspects his wife is cheating on him. He wants a talking parrot that will give him the dirt when he comes back home. He goes to the parrot store, and they're sold out of talking parrots. Only one they have left is handicapped with no wings and no legs. So the traveling salesman asks, "How does he hold onto his perch?"
Clerk says, "He wraps his dick around the perch." Salesmen says, "I'm going away tomorrow, I'll have to take him!" Traveling salesman takes the parrot home and sets up the parrot right by the bed in the bedroom. The traveling salesman goes away on business and comes home. Traveling salesman races to the bedroom and says to the parrot, "Okay, what happened!?" Parrot says, "Well, no sooner than you left, the door bell wrang. It was the mail man." Salesman says, "Yeh what happened?" Parrot says, "Well, your wife told him to come back to the bedroom and take his clothes off." Sales guy says, "Yeh what else?" Parrot says, "No sooner than he did, the door bell wrang again. It was the pool boy!" Salesman says, "Yeh what else happened!?" Parrot says, "Well, your wife invited him into the bedroom to do the same. Then the door bell wrang again! It was the pizza delivery boy!" The salesman says, "Yeh what happened then?" The parrot says, "Well, your wife showed him in and then told him as well to take his clothes off!" The salesman says, "Yeh then what happened?" The parrot says, "Well your wife got naked and got on the bed." The salesman says, "Yeh go on! What else happened!" The parrot says, "Then all three men got on the bed naked with her and your wife layed down on the bed and spread her legs." The salesman says, "Yeh, and then what happened?" The parrot said, "I don't know, I got a hard on and fell off my perch."
Clerk says, "He wraps his dick around the perch." Salesmen says, "I'm going away tomorrow, I'll have to take him!" Traveling salesman takes the parrot home and sets up the parrot right by the bed in the bedroom. The traveling salesman goes away on business and comes home. Traveling salesman races to the bedroom and says to the parrot, "Okay, what happened!?" Parrot says, "Well, no sooner than you left, the door bell wrang. It was the mail man." Salesman says, "Yeh what happened?" Parrot says, "Well, your wife told him to come back to the bedroom and take his clothes off." Sales guy says, "Yeh what else?" Parrot says, "No sooner than he did, the door bell wrang again. It was the pool boy!" Salesman says, "Yeh what else happened!?" Parrot says, "Well, your wife invited him into the bedroom to do the same. Then the door bell wrang again! It was the pizza delivery boy!" The salesman says, "Yeh what happened then?" The parrot says, "Well, your wife showed him in and then told him as well to take his clothes off!" The salesman says, "Yeh then what happened?" The parrot says, "Well your wife got naked and got on the bed." The salesman says, "Yeh go on! What else happened!" The parrot says, "Then all three men got on the bed naked with her and your wife layed down on the bed and spread her legs." The salesman says, "Yeh, and then what happened?" The parrot said, "I don't know, I got a hard on and fell off my perch."
A new Marine Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the Afghanistan Desert ...
During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a Camel hitched up behind the mess tent.
He asks the Sergeant why the camel is kept there.
The nervous sergeant said, "Well sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post and no women.
And sir, sometimes the men have "urges". That's why we have Molly The Camel."
The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about "urges", so the camel can stay "
About a month later, the Captain starts having his own "urges".
Crazy with passion, he asks the Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent. Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his pants down and has wild, insane sex with the camel.
When he's done, he asks the Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?"
"No not really, sir...
They usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are."
During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a Camel hitched up behind the mess tent.
He asks the Sergeant why the camel is kept there.
The nervous sergeant said, "Well sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post and no women.
And sir, sometimes the men have "urges". That's why we have Molly The Camel."
The Captain says, "I can't say that I condone this, but I understand about "urges", so the camel can stay "
About a month later, the Captain starts having his own "urges".
Crazy with passion, he asks the Sergeant to bring the camel to his tent. Putting a ladder behind the camel, the Captain stands on the ladder, pulls his pants down and has wild, insane sex with the camel.
When he's done, he asks the Sergeant, "Is that how the men do it?"
"No not really, sir...
They usually just ride the camel into town where the girls are."