I'm not sure either. He's either a Christian or a Mormon, views the other group as a bunch of whackjobs, and doesn't want you to say anything mean about his omnipotent God.
what do you do when the missionaries of jesus christ show up at your door?
- Thread starter Drunken_Ninja
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I figure they deal with more **** than they really need to, so I just chat with them. Generally I tell them that I'm rather agnostic, and have read the Book of Mormon. They ease up quite a bit after that. The LDS missionaries tend to be a fairly tight-knit group, and I know a few of them from work, so...
basically, I'm not a douchebag towards them and they're cool with me.
basically, I'm not a douchebag towards them and they're cool with me.
I like to pretend I am Ash from Army Of Darkness.
"Good? Bad? I'm the guy with the gun..."
"Good? Bad? I'm the guy with the gun..."
"Alright you primitive screwheads listen up..."
"You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?""Alright you primitive screwheads listen up..."
Works good on trick-or-treaters too.
what's unclear about the word "seperation"??? this means in fact "NOT TOGETHER", not "a bit together, once a week" nor "together, when we're inclined to".
funny, that those HC-christians seem to think that the constitution doesn't apply for the living out of their beliefs.
Now imagine having a muslim group, trying to establish a religious group at high school......
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Mostly I point out the contradictions in the bible and christian psychology. Many groups are hostile to gay/lesbian people because the old testament has a couple of passages in leviticus. Yet the old testament in leviticus (I think) also supports owning slaves, stoning people who work on holy days, and a variety of other things we consider wrong. The passages that condemn homosexuality are contradicted by later statements of Jesus who says to love everybody.
They came by while I was shoveling the driveway. It's spotless. Thank god I brought out a second shovel. I was having a hard time chopping the ice... I guess I was doing it wrong...I thanked them for the guidance and asked for directions to their church. I gave them 50lbs of potatoes today
Last summer I answered the door for them, I told them to wait and closed the front door, opened my garage and left int the car to go get dinner with my dad. The look on their faces was awesome as we waved to them and drove past them on the front door step. But since then they dont like my house.
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yup, had me googling "public nudity own house" to see if that would work to get rid of them...I came back to spread rep for this one and I still can't
Best post on this thread.
I had them stop by last summer on a Friday afternoon, so I was working on bikes and drinking beer. I answered the door in dirty jeans, dirty shirt and drinking a High Life.
I decided to talk to them. I told them I didn't need Jesus to be honest, that's why I answered the door instead of ignoring them. I told them I read some of the book of Mormon on a work trip in a hotel because I was bored. They asked what I thought, I said "kinda long winded". The look on their faces was priceless.
They asked me if I could try praying to Jesus for them. I said "Because I'm an honest person, I'll just tell you no to your face instead of telling you yes just to get you to go away".
I asked them what they thought of other religions. They assured me theirs was the right one. I asked them how old they were, they said 19. I said "well I'm 28, so from experience I'll tell ya, you've got a few years to figure it out yet, keep an open mind".
By this point one of them was dead silent through the conversation, the other was fairly engaging though. They offered to do manual labor for me, I said "nah, I've got friends I give beer to for that". They took off shortly after that, nice enough folks I guess. Kinda annoying they're door to door sales manning their religion though, that always bugged me about them.
I decided to talk to them. I told them I didn't need Jesus to be honest, that's why I answered the door instead of ignoring them. I told them I read some of the book of Mormon on a work trip in a hotel because I was bored. They asked what I thought, I said "kinda long winded". The look on their faces was priceless.
They asked me if I could try praying to Jesus for them. I said "Because I'm an honest person, I'll just tell you no to your face instead of telling you yes just to get you to go away".
I asked them what they thought of other religions. They assured me theirs was the right one. I asked them how old they were, they said 19. I said "well I'm 28, so from experience I'll tell ya, you've got a few years to figure it out yet, keep an open mind".
By this point one of them was dead silent through the conversation, the other was fairly engaging though. They offered to do manual labor for me, I said "nah, I've got friends I give beer to for that". They took off shortly after that, nice enough folks I guess. Kinda annoying they're door to door sales manning their religion though, that always bugged me about them.
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I answer the door tea bagging the "good book" or the watchtower if they are JW's.
Then I try and convince them that atheism is the answer.
Then I try and convince them that atheism is the answer.
When I was living in CA, I used that argument when people asked me to vote for Prop 8. "THE BIBLE SAYS GAY MARRIAGE WRONG!!!!"
Me: "Ok, I'll support prop 8, as long as it legalizes slavery again, because the bible says that slavery is OK too".
In the early 90's I went to this backwoods Mississippi high school (very traumatic experience) & this was not the case. We even had a 'moment of silence everyday' & yes they did distribute bibles (the gideons of course). God I hate the bible belt.
Extremely entertaining too :biggrin:
The only time they've come to visit me, I was in the middle of pulling up the carpeting in my living room. I was covered in dirt and had my goggles and a bandana over my face (very old carpet, lots of dust). When the doorbell rang, I answered the door like that. They stumbled through a few words then left in a hurry.
They had their 3 little kids with them too, which I've never seen before. But they've never come back either...
I tell them I am Catholic and not interested in the Church of Latter Day Saints. Seeing as it is the truth it always works out well for me.
I live in the land of the mormons and had a not so pleasant run in with some while i was out walking my dog. They were so persistant, they should've been army recruiters. They just wouldn't let me say "I'm not interested." I kept walking, and all three of them were behind me, following me and preaching about how the lord can make my life so much better. Sheeeeiiiiiit. My life doesn't need to get much better. Not in that sense. I pretty much had to tell them to leave my property and to quit wasting my time. I even told them that i didn't want to waste their time because i wasn't interested, but they still kept following me. i warned them three times before i became an a$$hole.
They're used to resistance, so its futile with Mormons. What you need to do is make them uncomfortable, they won't know what to do and they'll run off.
Should have asked them for their number, see if they want to meet later... Or ask them about why lots unmarried Mormon chicks are sluts
Should have asked them for their number, see if they want to meet later... Or ask them about why lots unmarried Mormon chicks are sluts
I've had a couple interesting ones. A couple years ago I was hanging out with a bunch of people at a girls house and a bunch of people with bibles knocked on the door. I answered the door and told them I had to take a **** and I would be right back. I came back, asked what the wanted to before they could as said I needed a snack. I repeated this this cycle for a good 30 minutes. It was sad. When I lived in California my house was up on top of a hill in Marin and you had to walk up 100 steep steps to get to the front door. It made my day when a solicitor would come in the middle of summer, sweating and panting only to get turned down.
Generally the cloud of snarling, barking dogs keeps the conversations short. Or no conversation at all as they back down the walkway as I slowly open the door wider and the hounds become more frantic. I don't think that they would actually bite anyone.
I was stopped at a redlight on my bike one time & these 2 mormon kids pulled up next to me with their ties & nametags. They were on fairly decent MTB's (mid level trek & a Fuel). They come beside me & I am like "damn here we go". But all they wanted to know is where the good trails & DJ's were in town we actually had a good convo & Jesus or Mormonism never came up. We ride a few blocks together chatting trails & bikes & stuff then split ways. I thought that was cool that our biking interests transcended their usual MO of trying to convert atheists like myself.
So they aren't all bad.
So they aren't all bad.
All you have to tell them is "I believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the living God" and they'll leave you alone. Especially effective on Jehovah's Witnesses.
I worked with two Mormons. One guy, in his late 20s, never brought up religion unless you asked him. The only reason I even knew he was Mormon because at a cookout he was drinking a Mt. Dew. I asked him if he wanted a beer and he said no and told me why he doesn't drink.
The other guy, in his 40s, would wait until you were driving somewhere with him, then he'd drop the god bomb. Can't escape...in car...jump into traffic!
Funny enough, the older guy got fired for sexual harassment, apparently he groped some chick's thigh. How did explain that one to his family? Jesus wanted him to feel up that hot young chick at work?
The other guy, in his 40s, would wait until you were driving somewhere with him, then he'd drop the god bomb. Can't escape...in car...jump into traffic!
Funny enough, the older guy got fired for sexual harassment, apparently he groped some chick's thigh. How did explain that one to his family? Jesus wanted him to feel up that hot young chick at work?
That Jesus dude is one crazy mofo. He told me to do the same thing
No doubt...same thing happened to me...at my last job....but cougars are a fickle bunch...such is the risk with the title on my card being "Zoo Keeper"....
Sonofa....
Skeet skeet skeet seems to do the job for most everyone that wants to come over and preach or convert.