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Alright, Pandemic/Zombie outbreak. Choose One Vehicle and Three Weapons.

blackohio

blackohio

Generous jaywalker
Mar 12, 2009
2,773
122
Hellafornia. Formerly stumptown.
Late night boredom.
I just had a netflix run of foreign zombie movies and got thinking what would my weapons of choice be if there were a global pandemic/apocalypse. Only caveat, vehicle has to be something commercially available, so no bradleys or strykers or apaches.

1 vehicle - must be able to carry supplies as well as your passengers, 3-weapons
My plan, get as much food/cold weather gear as possible and fuel (100 gallons you can carry), head to the mountains. High elevation/Cold
Vehicle.

Pinzgauer 712


Weapons.
General Hunting/Protection.
Silenced 14.5 Multi-caliber Magpul Masada or ACR Bushmaster


CQB
Drumfed Saiga 12


Taurus Judge .45/.410 Shotgun


Ammo should be easy to get for all of those, and perfect for slowing down a group or close cluster.
 
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gonefirefightin

gonefirefightin

free wieners
Feb 5, 2007
11,267
4,955
Surrounded by Police in a hail of gunfire
I choose the Hemtt pls (paletized loading system) with the conex gun box and fuel pod trailer system (as shown). 8 wheel drive, 4 wheel steering, 4 live axles all with diff lock. runs on almost anything, fording depth over 9 feet. and front slope engineered to roll over vehicles. enough room in gun box to hold and house 8 gunners, and one gunner in the cab and yes it is available to the public direct from oshkosh

M977A2_HEMTT_Oshkosh_truck_mobility_tactical_cargo_truck_United_states_US-army_002.jpg

weapon systems would include a full array of dual mounted AA-12 turrets staggered in the gun box

_hammer_069_a.jpg

finished with the M240 bravo weapons systems

M240B.JPG

in the cab and in the gun box would be a full assortment of M26 weapons systems for dismounted operations

M4_M26.jpg

and a mark 19 mounted on the cab turret (for clearing obstructions and low clearances)

mk19mod3-1.jpg

give me your addresses and I will pick up some monkies, first come first served
 
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gonefirefightin

gonefirefightin

free wieners
Feb 5, 2007
11,267
4,955
Surrounded by Police in a hail of gunfire
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T

TheMontashu

Pourly Tatteued Jeu
Mar 15, 2004
5,549
0
I'm homeless
DirtyMike said:
Humvee, the real one, deisel of course.

.308 Lapua
.357 handgun
large machete
Click to expand...
Sweet, that means I'm snagging your food and .338 Lapua when your 6.2 poops out on you!

Unless of course you mean a Lapua rifle in .308 winchester. which I would be happy to take as well

I would say this

This

and

And a unimog
 
amateur

amateur

Turbo Monkey
Apr 18, 2002
1,019
0
Orange County
Given real world constraints, practicality, and readiness of availability, my choices would be:

Toyota 4x4 with the 22re motor (I've seen it run on ethanol of the 1.75L variety)

And I'm not sure what type of hit kills zombies, but I'm assuming brain disruption here, in which case:

Savage 22LR-cheap, lightweight gun and ammo, readily available from just about anywhere

SIG p220 converted to 22 LR (see above)

Remington 870 12g
 
Westy

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
54,442
20,247
Sleazattle
Seems there are more gun related than bike related posts on the monkey as of lately.

That being said I'd be happy with my bike, a still and a large cache of grains.
 
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c101aviojet

c101aviojet

Monkey
Oct 30, 2010
178
1
...where the sky is blue below and dark above...
Most of those ideas look cool, but I'm not sure they would be practical in most situations. Such vehicles require wide roads and hard to find parts, and ammo is heavy and scarce. So, assuming a more realistic scenario, I'd say...

Vehicle
For long distance trips, I'd look at something like this:
SlowPlowTrain.jpg

Snowplow + diesel unit + 1 or 2 armored wagons = plenty of space, bulletproof, doubles as a shelter and is just unstoppable. The main drawback is fuel consumption and being on rails (though in most countries you can get almost anywhere by train).

In any other case, I would look for a middle sized 4x4 vehicle that could take a beating and be repaired almost on the fly, run in all sorts of ungodly fuel and be universally available. A modded toyota hilux or swat van comes to mind:
TankTruck.jpg

Weapons
Assuming I'm traveling on my feet and not some sort of rolling behemoth, I'd say:
- Mid weight steel tool; useful to open doors, break things and never runs out of ammo or goes blunt, like a crowbar (WWGFD?). This would be the main weapon.
- Some kind of pistol or sawed-off shotgun. Used as a last resort.
- Long range bolt action rifle with supressor. Reliable & deadly, useful to clean the way ahead without being noticed.
- A machete & knife would come in handy too.

Also, a few grenades would be great to scape from critical situations.
 
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jackalope

jackalope

Mental acuity - 1%
Jan 9, 2004
7,610
5,926
in a single wide, cooking meth...
Vehicle - Sarah Jessica Parker: it can haul more weight than a mule, runs on wild grains & pics of Matthew Broderick, and offers a mean bite & rear leg kick when agitated (by say, groping zombies) which means I will also count it as one of my 3 weapons.

Weapon - MG42 with a couple fresh barrels. Obviously a big fan of the bipod, but I would also rig up a shoulder mount on SJP so I could stand behind her and blast away in a pinch.

Weapon - Rambo knife (Buckmaster?) which I would throw (a lot)
 
ICEBALL585

ICEBALL585

Bacontard
Sep 8, 2009
6,805
2,045
.:585:.
Doesn't matter what vehicle or weapons I choose, I probably wouldn't last very long in a zombie apocolypse. I'm definitely zombie food... well I'm fairly skinny so maybe more of a zombie snack.
 
syadasti

syadasti

i heart mac
Apr 15, 2002
12,690
290
VT
Westy said:
Seems there are more gun related than bike related posts on the monkey as of lately.

That being said I'd be happy with my bike, a still and a large cache of grains.
Click to expand...
Yeah give me a ****ing breaking in a pandemic or near pandemic you don't want to be close to anyone and you aren't going to be shooting anyone especially if you don't want to expose yourself to infectious agents. You'd call the CDC and get the hell out of there:

The Potential Pandemic You've Never Heard Of: How the connections between pigs, bats, and people could threaten your health.
 
DirtMcGirk

DirtMcGirk

<b>WAY</b> Dumber than N8 (to the power of ten alm
Feb 21, 2008
6,379
1
Oz
Vehicle:

The Terradyne Gurkha MPV. 6.7L V8 Turbo Diesel Engine, 390HP, armor plated, and the Rock loved his in Fast 5.

Weapons:
- Para USA PXT 14.45 pistol
- Springfield Armory SOCOM II
- 10" Tromix Saiga SBS

And a machete. Because Machete don't text.
 
Sandwich

Sandwich

Pig my fish!
Staff member
May 23, 2002
21,077
5,995
borcester rhymes
zoom zoom with snorkel and exhaust in case of floods. Hard doors and turret port for protection and escape.


demo tool:
or


ryobi cordless or honda gas weed eater with this attachment:

frighteningly effective at cutting things down, like zombie bits, and has long range to keep them away from yourself.

maybe one of GFF's scary rat shooting air rifles. too much noise and bang and they'll all come after you.
 
descente

descente

Monkey
Jul 30, 2010
430
0
Sandy Eggo
ahahahaha that show was the best!

i'd take a sail boat full of food and fishing poles
an axe
a hi capacity 12ga shotty
and a .308 like an M14 or something
and a jet pack would be pretty cool to have too.
 
jdcamb

jdcamb

Tool Time!
Feb 17, 2002
19,839
8,439
Nowhere Man!
One of these because I never had one as a child. abw-bw-og-400.jpg and a $100,000 in singles.

For now I 'm keeping my plan to myself.....
 
jimmydean

jimmydean

The Official Meat of Ridemonkey
Sep 10, 2001
41,208
13,345
Portland, OR
ICEBALL585 said:
I'm sure there are a few dealerships in Afganistan that offer that option but it will set you back at least 5 goats.
Click to expand...
If the snorkel is included, I would totally get one for that price.

Toyota and Nissan both make some sick trucks not available in the states.
 
ultraNoob

ultraNoob

Yoshinoya Destroyer
Jan 20, 2007
4,504
1
Hills of Paradise
For me... Stealth and Mobility are key to surviving Zday and beyond.

Light Armored HMMWV with diesel hybrid upgrade, float kit, and ballistic glass
- quieter
- extended range
- mobile
- can run on veggie oil if need be
- roll down hill with brakes slightly on to charge main battery

M14 with suppressor in 7.62NATO with Mars6x-4 NV Scope
- 20rnd magazine
- common caliber means more available ammo
- quiet enough to snipe at 500yards without drawing too much attention
- large enough caliber to down medium sized game

MP5SD
- 30rnd magazine
- common 9mm ammo
- accurate and quiet
- high rate of fire
- reliable

Sig .22 Mosquito with removeable suppressor
- easy to clean
- hunt small game at close range quietly
- a headshot within 15 yards still penetrates a skull = dead zombie
- ammo can be found at your local walmart
- ammo most likely left behind by looting big caliber mongers
- 500rnds weigh an measly 4 pounds or less
- nearly silent with suppressor (just hear brass hit ground)
 
blackohio

blackohio

Generous jaywalker
Mar 12, 2009
2,773
122
Hellafornia. Formerly stumptown.
Im keeping the magpul masada though with the ability to switch parts and fire nato or 762 rounds.

Last thing I'd want is a flamethrower. Flaming zombies are the same as not of fire ones, just theyre on fire.
 
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