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airport security...

partsbara

Turbo Monkey
Nov 16, 2001
3,996
0
getting Xtreme !
no no no, i didn t lose it and go sick in the airport on soju but i did have a very weird experience coming back from korea yesterday... i ve flown so much in my life, more than i care to remember and this was unlike anything that has ever happened...

the flight from incheon (seoul) to san fransisco was long and boring, but thats another story... arriving at SF is when it got interesting... returning home i had only 2 small bags since i decided to leave my bianchi SS over there... both of my bags were small cabin sized luggage... one on wheels and a small backpack... works great since ya don t get hung up waiting for ya bags at the luggage pick up... anyway... i m scootin throught the airport, trying to make it to my connecting flight... we re at customs and this young lady asks me if i ve had any 'medical treatments' while away... feeling this was a pretty weird question, i answer no and ask why... she ignores me and then suddenly there is a couple of serious lookin officials complete with rubber gloves on :help: ... one of them keeps checking his belt and there is a small device on his hip that keeps beeping... he has a puzzled look on his face and they take me away to search my bags... here we go again i think, my hassle and repayment for having an al queda looking goatee ;)... so offiical one begins to unpack my stuff... all the while the little device on his hip is beeping and emitting a small red flashing light... i let the guy riffle through my sh1t for a bit then ask him why i was flagged... he ignored me so i asked him again... then he let me know that i raised the alert since,
I WAS EMMITING RADIATION.....

so i started to become a little concerned... RADIATION.... holy shiat, this is just what i need... hiroshima carrots glowing in the dark... i asked him if the device on his hip was a giga counter... i guess this just confused him more, all he could mutter was something about radiation... so at this stage i start to get a little worried... did i forget to put my tin helmet on one night and was i whisked away to have some crazy experiments performed on my body.... perhaps it happened the night i got spastic on soju et al... was this some kind of cruel revenge ???

anyway the guy runs the giga counter over everything in my bags and then turns it to the stuff in my pockets... regular travelling stuff - mp3 player, headphones, passport, boarding pass, mints etc... still nothing...

then the confused official glances up at the desk next to us... he makes eye contact with another official and stares blankly... almost admitting defeat... the official at the next counter, perhaps 10 feet away has this korean woman and her mountain of belongings... then he calmly mentions that the radiation is coming off this woman and that i m free to go... jeezuz h christ... at this stage i was pretty relieved and i was just keen to leave... we repacked my cr@p and i was free to go... crazy...

anyone else had any weird experiences at airports ??? shirly, i m not interested in your body cavity search stories :)... good to be back home... wish the missus was here as well :(... why am i up at 5 am ?? :confused:

partsbara
 

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
36,463
3,228
Sleazattle
It was all just an elaborate distraction as they injected the micro machines into your bloodstream. They will soon rearrange your neurons so you think more like a good ol american. Tomorrow you will have an overwhelming urge to go to Walmart.
 

valve bouncer

Master Dildoist
Feb 11, 2002
7,791
36
Japan
partsbara said:
#2 s crent :)

i tell ya mate, it was freakin weird... alll i could think about was glowing carrots in hiroshima...
]
And 2 headed children.....Flying would be great if it didn't involve airports or airlines and the people contained within.
 

BurlyShirley

Rex Grossman Will Rise Again
Jul 4, 2002
19,183
1
TN
partsbara said:
so you need a torch, sorry flashlight when you go camping... i just drop out mr dong... i win :)
You're like an angler fish. Only you catch senior citizen males:rofl:
 

stevew

unique white person
Sep 21, 2001
31,587
2,550
I came close to losing my pants while being searched at a NIN concert in Nashville by a rather portly female officer.

I've never had a problem w/airport security.
 

llkoolkeg

Ranger LL
Sep 5, 2001
4,329
4
in da shed, mon, in da shed
Incident #1-3: Complete manual, chemical and dog-sniffing searches done on all my belongings coming back from Frankfurt and Amsterdam through Dulles. Although hassled about waterpipes and hookahs, ultimately permitted to retain them as they were still brand new and obviously unused.

Incident #4: Same as Incident #1-3 above, except search conducted at 2:00am near Koln, DE by German police w/MP5s & German Shepherds. Lesson learned- no more off-hours border crossings for me.

Incident #5: Same as previous 4 Incidents, except search conducted going into Vancouver, ironically, and guards not satisfied until I orally verify minute details of a small legal issue expunged from all but Interpol and FBI records.

Unfortunately, I have apparently earned my way into the international "permanent record in the sky" and will be hassled from here on out anytime I encounter a nation's passport control agents.
 

narlus

Eastcoast Softcore
Staff member
Nov 7, 2001
24,658
25
behind the viewfinder
llkoolkeg said:
Unfortunately, I have apparently earned my way into the international "permanent record in the sky" and will be hassled from here on out anytime I encounter a nation's passport control agents.
that sucks.

partsy, is this you?
 

Ciaran

Fear my banana
Apr 5, 2004
9,844
9
So Cal
llkoolkeg said:
Incident #1-3: Complete manual, chemical and dog-sniffing searches done on all my belongings coming back from Frankfurt and Amsterdam through Dulles. Although hassled about waterpipes and hookahs, ultimately permitted to retain them as they were still brand new and obviously unused.

Incident #4: Same as Incident #1-3 above, except search conducted at 2:00am near Koln, DE by German police w/MP5s & German Shepherds. Lesson learned- no more off-hours border crossings for me.

Incident #5: Same as previous 4 Incidents, except search conducted going into Vancouver, ironically, and guards not satisfied until I orally verify minute details of a small legal issue expunged from all but Interpol and FBI records.

Unfortunately, I have apparently earned my way into the international "permanent record in the sky" and will be hassled from here on out anytime I encounter a nation's passport control agents.
Dude, that the hell did you do that you are on INTERPOL's records?

On second thought, maybe I don't wanna know! :p
 

llkoolkeg

Ranger LL
Sep 5, 2001
4,329
4
in da shed, mon, in da shed
Ciaran said:
Dude, what the hell did you do that you are on INTERPOL's records?

On second thought, maybe I don't wanna know! :p
During a moment of youthful indiscretion, police arrested me on Federal Property in possession of several different types of marijuana, hashish, paraphanalia, alcohol...and the small matter of a 10mm Glock loaded with 15+1 200gr Black Talons.
 

binary visions

The voice of reason
Jun 13, 2002
21,653
402
NC
llkoolkeg said:
During a moment of youthful indiscretion, police arrested me on Federal Property in possession of several different types of marijuana, hashish, paraphanalia, alcohol...and the small matter of a 10mm Glock loaded with 15+1 200gr Black Talons.
That's a whole lot of indiscretion to pack into one evening - must have been a hell of a party you were at/headed to/coming from :p
 

llkoolkeg

Ranger LL
Sep 5, 2001
4,329
4
in da shed, mon, in da shed
binary visions said:
That's a whole lot of indiscretion to pack into one evening - must have been a hell of a party you were at/headed to/coming from :p
It would make for a better story, but no...I was just striped bass fishing the Potomac in D.C. with a buddy late at night in a sketchy area. My buddy didn't do a good enough job of ditching his open container, so we both got searched and my portable party pak was discovered. :mumble:
 

Austin Bike

Turbo Monkey
Jan 26, 2003
1,559
0
Duh, Austin
Coming back from Switzerland I had some Schmackos - dog treats - in my bag. Just as I go to grab it off the carousel the beagles show up. Doh!

Also, was travelling with a guy who was getting searched and I was standing by the side smirking at him when suddenly I realized the book that was in my bag:



Just as the guard started to look at me like "you're next buddy" I took off and disappeared into the crowd.

Plus I've been patted down a lot in the Phillipines.

How was the soju? I'll be there in a few weeks.
 

partsbara

Turbo Monkey
Nov 16, 2001
3,996
0
getting Xtreme !
soju... well i imagine it to be somewhat like the pee pee of satan... it s pretty evil... not my drink of choice... got a few kostritzers (german black lagers) in the fridge that d be my first pick...

have fun in korea tho'... there is some cool stuff out there.. check the mountains.. good riding...
 

Austin Bike

Turbo Monkey
Jan 26, 2003
1,559
0
Duh, Austin
Probably no riding. I am trying to squeeze in a ride in Taipei while I am there and would love to hit something in Seoul, but I'll be in the city on business, so unless I can find a quick escape, I'm probably out of luck.
 

JohnE

filthy rascist
May 13, 2005
12,644
661
Front Range, dude...
partsbara said:
what are you hmmming about biatch :)
Ahhh, couldn't think of anything better to say. Thought maybe you had spent too much time in the uranium mines. Ring me when you get back, wife is taking kids back home for a spell. Bachelor time...
 

partsbara

Turbo Monkey
Nov 16, 2001
3,996
0
getting Xtreme !
JohnE said:
Ahhh, couldn't think of anything better to say. Thought maybe you had spent too much time in the uranium mines. Ring me when you get back, wife is taking kids back home for a spell. Bachelor time...
back mate :)... drive up this way and drink some beer... check ya PMs
 

S.K.C.

Turbo Monkey
Feb 28, 2005
4,097
10
Pa. / North Jersey
That was wierd Parts...

The wierdest/annoying thing that happened to me was last year flying out of Charleston NC to Newark.

First of all I HATE flying. I never fly sober - or at least if I can avoid it. But that has nothing to do with this.

So, my appearance is a little different from what they usually get through the airport in Charleston - (no piercings or Tatts) T's, jeans, Dickies, Nylon button front windbreaker, skate-shoes, leather wrist bands, rings, and super scare hair. Not spikey, but just, well... think Chris Cornell on a bad hair day.

Anyway I'm dressed like this and I'm arriving at the airport to leave Charleston at like 6AM. This is after 3 solid days of partying during my college roomates bachelor party. I got 1 hour of sleep (maybe) the night before my flight. The whole time we were staying on my other college roomate's Dad's sports yacht. Lot's of noise, lots of commotion.

So, arriving at the airport I'm pissed cause everyone else was up blasting music, and drinking, but I'm also freaked about getting back on the plane which is one of those little commuter type deals. 2 rows on one side with one on the other. On top of this I've got REALLY bad allergies so my eyes are watering and my nose is running since it's the beginning of May and every thing down there was in full bloom.

So I go up to this fat old guy who is checking in my baggage at the screener and he looks at me suspiciously the whole time I'm standing there. He keeps eyeing me and then looking away. Meanwhile I'm coughing, and sniffling. After staring at my luggage while it's being checked in with this knowing smirk on his face, he then looks at me down his nose over his glasses and asks saracstically: "Oh I see we have some problems today?"... and I said - "Yeah, I've got really bad allergies this time of year." So he then he says "Oh allergies... I see." Then he leans toward me and says in a somewhat low voice: "Well we charge a fee here for checking in baggage so if you would be so kind..."

Insantaneously in my head I said "WTF?!" but was so nervous about getting home safely, that I just fumbled through my wallet and gave him the first thing I could find which was $20.

As soon as I made it down the ramp to the waiting area it hit me: He probably thought I was some rocker-type half smacked on blow. With the way I was acting (coughing, sniffling, looking unhappy and nervous) I could see his perception of me.

What pisses me off is that he thought he was calling me out by implying I was on something and used that to extort some money from me.

Judgemental a$$h0le.:mad:
 

binary visions

The voice of reason
Jun 13, 2002
21,653
402
NC
:rofl:

Man, that guy saw you coming. You should have called the airline and explained what happened to them. They may not have believed you, of course, but at least you could have gotten the guy worried and defensive.