[HAB]

56 worst analogies written by high school students.

 

[c101aviojet]

Awesome!

 

[valve bouncer]

Her lips were red and full, like tubes of blood drawn by an inattentive phlebotomist.

Bwahahahahaha. I'm sure most of those must come from the Bulwer-Lytton Awards.
http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/2010.htm

She walked into my office wearing a body that would make a man write bad checks, but in this paperless age you would first have to obtain her ABA Routing Transit Number and Account Number and then disable your own Overdraft Protection in order to do so.

 

[Da Peach]

I felt a nameless dread. Well, there probably is a long German name for it, like Geschpooklichkeit or something, but I don’t speak German. Anyway, it’s a dread that nobody knows the name for, like those little square plastic gizmos that close your bread bags. I don’t know the name for those either.

 

[stevew]

talent.

 

[TreeSaw]

LOL! I work with these demented minds every day and there is never a dull moment!

 

[TheTruth]

LOL! I work with these demented minds every day and there is never a dull moment!

I've always wanted to be a high school english teacher for a day to see what the bottom half of the class says.

 

[mandown]

Genius.

 

[bizutch]

FYI #18 is False: The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

Bowling balls float...and boy do I have a retardedly funny story too long to type that explains why I know that.

 

[DaveW]

LOL! I work with these demented minds every day and there is never a dull moment!

You work with the ridemonkey Mods?

 

[I Are Baboon]

You work with the ridemonkey Mods?

Son, she is a ridemonkey mod.

 

[JohnE]

Among other things, my Dad was an English teacher, HS and public JuCo. He put up with this crap and worse...which probably lead, in part, to his early demise. He wold rofl at these...and then ask me whatinthehell rofl meant...

 

[johnbryanpeters]

fyi #18 is false: The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

Bowling balls float...and boy do i have a retardedly funny story too long to type that explains why i know that.

tl;dw?

 

[Silver]

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

This one is gold.

 

[Westy]

she walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

12344

 

[was?]

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

This one is gold.

jup, boris vian couldn´t have done better.

She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

makes me think of:

NSFW

 

[HAB]

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

This one is gold.

That might be my favorite.

 

[4xBoy]

Inspired.

The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Tex.) in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill.) in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the impeachment of President William Jefferson Clinton.

 

[binary visions]

I've always wanted to be a high school english teacher for a day to see what the bottom half of the class says.

You're not the only one.

Someone compiled a list... Click!

 

[splat]

You work with the ridemonkey Mods?

Son, she is a ridemonkey mod.