How does one learn to not sound...
- Thread starter Jr_Bullit
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How long is "way back in the day"? I'm just curious.dh girlie said:
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SkaredShtles said:
I started riding about 15, 16 years ago?
Damn, Girl! You start out on a fully rigid 7-speed, or what?dh girlie said:
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Edit: Whoa - I just realized. You're *old*........
"In the presence of greatness, candor is often mistaken for arrogance."
Cant remember who said it, but it's what I tell myself whenever someone complains that I'm being too condecsending....
IMO, there is no wrong way to tell the truth, if people can't handle it that's their issue not yours. Of course this wouldn't apply to telling the truth just to be cruel or to insult someone, or to someone who clearly cannot handle it, then it's just mean.
Cant remember who said it, but it's what I tell myself whenever someone complains that I'm being too condecsending....
IMO, there is no wrong way to tell the truth, if people can't handle it that's their issue not yours. Of course this wouldn't apply to telling the truth just to be cruel or to insult someone, or to someone who clearly cannot handle it, then it's just mean.
If you are wondering whether you communicate well with women, it might be a blind spot for you. You might think you are doing a great job in communication, but women might not.
Frankly, many women do not appreciate the totally frank approach. You could say to a man, "Dude, you're f*cking up, get it together", and many men would respond well. I doubt that kind of approach would work for women. In my dealings at the shop, I put it as what can we do to make it better. It takes more time, but the results are better.
I like to look at male coaches of female teams. They are usually coming from a man's enviroment but they need to convert their style to a woman's view. Although from what I hear, many coaches b*tch out their players just like the men's teams.
Finally, it does take two to tango. You might have been perfectly reasonably, and your co-worker (soon to be subordinate) seemed like she overreacted. Maybe you should table any further discussion of her perfomance until you take over. She might respect your opinion more then, or at least you have the authority to set her straight.
Frankly, many women do not appreciate the totally frank approach. You could say to a man, "Dude, you're f*cking up, get it together", and many men would respond well. I doubt that kind of approach would work for women. In my dealings at the shop, I put it as what can we do to make it better. It takes more time, but the results are better.
I like to look at male coaches of female teams. They are usually coming from a man's enviroment but they need to convert their style to a woman's view. Although from what I hear, many coaches b*tch out their players just like the men's teams.
Finally, it does take two to tango. You might have been perfectly reasonably, and your co-worker (soon to be subordinate) seemed like she overreacted. Maybe you should table any further discussion of her perfomance until you take over. She might respect your opinion more then, or at least you have the authority to set her straight.
hahaha...yeah...it was a tank...it was a fully rigid diamondback, then I UPGRADED to a specialized hard rock...and I'm not old...I just started young! ahhahaa...sigh...I'm old...SkaredShtles said:Damn, Girl! You start out on a fully rigid 7-speed, or what?
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Edit: Whoa - I just realized. You're *old*........
I'm guessing you were just laying in wait for me to say 5 years or something so you could be like I've riden longer than you!!! And once again try to make yourself sooo much more superior!
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JRB
Guest
Well, we all know he sucks the sack.dh girlie said:And once again try to make yourself sooo much more superior!
ahahaha!loco said:Well, we all know he sucks the sack.
Naw - I was honestly curious. I started in '91 on a fully rigid Giant.dh girlie said:hahaha...yeah...it was a tank...it was a fully rigid diamondback, then I UPGRADED to a specialized hard rock...and I'm not old...I just started young! ahhahaa...sigh...I'm old...
I'm guessing you were just laying in wait for me to say 5 years or something so you could be like I've riden longer than you!!! And once again try to make yourself sooo much more superior!
Wish I still had that bike.........
I'm not old, though. I actually *did* start young.
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And how, pray tell, do *YOU* know that??loco said:Well, we all know he sucks the sack.
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SkaredShtles said:And how, pray tell, do *YOU* know that??
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yeah...how, pray tell, *DO* you know that?
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JRB
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If you are not a ball sucker, I am a one legged zerba playing the trombone on Bourbon Street.SkaredShtles said:And how, pray tell, do *YOU* know that??
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SkaredShtles said:Naw - I was honestly curious. I started in '91 on a fully rigid Giant.
Wish I still had that bike.........
I'm not old, though. I actually *did* start young.
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I miss thumbshifters.
88 Stumpjumper Comp -- fully rigid
Wow, did this thread get jacked by the 3 stooges or what? BTW, I started in '88 w/ a full stiffy Trek.
and that's different from other threads how?Pau11y said:
'90 fully rigid canny. ow!
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I had an early 90's steel Iron Horse. It was rigid. It was also stolen.
I rode a fully rigid Klein Rascal(90?) for about a month before I got me a mag 20 -- 2" of plush travel.narlus said:
Ya, it definitely does...slowly I've been changing my roles with others around the company from "personal" to very not.. other than my boss, no one on my team really knows what's going on in my life, and even throughout the rest of the company I'm slowly withdrawing the personal information about my life and I just come in, do my job, work carefully with others on their job, try to set a good example and go home...reflux said:
I'm about 90% sure that the issue with this individual is a personal one where a) age is an issue, b) she feels I have disrespected her somehow, c) she already feels she's not giving 100% - she's a former hard worker converted to being a stay at home mom with this being her part-time 30-hrs per week job that she does from home...
I'll keep that in mind...it's hard not to feel you did something wrong when someone just cracks up....but even my boss who heard both her side (obviously) and my "results" summary said that while she and I will need to come to terms with it, and she needs to know that I understand how hard it can be to be criticized, that I should Not apologize for what was an honest and accurate conversation about areas that need improvement...TheInedibleHulk said:"In the presence of greatness, candor is often mistaken for arrogance."
Cant remember who said it, but it's what I tell myself whenever someone complains that I'm being too condecsending....
IMO, there is no wrong way to tell the truth, if people can't handle it that's their issue not yours. Of course this wouldn't apply to telling the truth just to be cruel or to insult someone, or to someone who clearly cannot handle it, then it's just mean.
And yes, from what I can see, dh girlie is one of the few unusual women of the type I generally fit in with...all the nonsense and bs gets old fast...and I don't do well with complimenting or kowtowing to some invisible ego monster.
I hear she wears black Sublime hoodies. . . chicks like that intimidate me. I mean they get my attention, but I figure their boyfriends are kinda scaryJr_Bullit said:
Watch "Office Space" and try no to sound like anyone who sez the letters "TPS." Try to sound like one of the Bobs, or better yet that neighbor that Oswald plays.
The "dude" approach works well w/friends and my kids, but I'm not sure a new stay-at-home mom working p/t and having trouble keeping up will respond "appropriately."
I know a guy who has trouble regulating the volume and pitch of his voice. He can be in a room talking to a man and a woman. The woman will come out ticked off, saying he was rude, defensive, etc. The man will say it was just a conversation.
Wumpus said:
If someone would make a cheap pair of 9-speed thumbs I think the world would beat a path to their door.
Well, you and I apparently would.
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Wumpus just pretends to be retro. He even bitched when I suggested he take his Brew last weekend. He is one of those big travel kind of guys.SkaredShtles said:
If someone would make a cheap pair of 9-speed thumbs I think the world would beat a path to their door.
Well, you and I apparently would.
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*jrb - don't lump yourself in with dh_g. She is a mean c**t.
And, it's not to say she didn't just play the "Since I didn't get the promotion, I'll screw her over" card to kill your chances of that promotion. I've come to learn that ppl are generally petty, especially a woman in an office full of women and will do sh!t like that just "because..." I don't know who she is, but dont' rule this out as a possibility, especially since you're younger than she is. Who's worked there longer, you or her?Jr_Bullit said:
This coming from a dumb f**king hick...loco said:*jrb - don't lump yourself in with dh_g. She is a mean c**t.
So do I........loco said:
But I'd still like to have a pair of 9 speed thumbies.
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Man, you aren't kidding...........dh girlie said:
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gawd - don't be all serious.dh girlie said:
S.S. - quit sucking ass.
Finally...SOMETHING we can agree on!SkaredShtles said:Man, you aren't kidding...........
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Well, I wasn't being all serious...but maybe I shoulda been...reeeeed....miiiii....sssignuchur hick...loco said:
Hey - we also agree that American Idiot sucks a$$.dh girlie said:Finally...SOMETHING we can agree on!
And I've never even seen it......
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Drop it with the danged signature thing. We get it's a disclaimer.dh girlie said:Well, I wasn't being all serious...but maybe I shoulda been...reeeeed....miiiii....sssignuchur hick...
Apparently you don't, Goober.loco said:
Trying to be nice and "cushion the blow" often comes off as patronizing even if you're sincere in how much you care. People who are phony come off as patronizing. People who think they're honestly better than their coworkers and don't have any real respect for their subordinates are often patronizing. People who deep down are insecure and try to cover their own deficiencies with a braggadocios and holier than thou attitude always sound patronizing.
Do you fit into one of these categories?
If you really want to stop sounding patronizing, it's likely going to take a change in your personality or at least in your overall management style. Also, (and this was told to me on more than one occasion), shut up and listen once in a while. Managers who talk all the time and try to explain and explain and ask and talk and "communicate," come of as patronizing as well.
Do you fit into one of these categories?
If you really want to stop sounding patronizing, it's likely going to take a change in your personality or at least in your overall management style. Also, (and this was told to me on more than one occasion), shut up and listen once in a while. Managers who talk all the time and try to explain and explain and ask and talk and "communicate," come of as patronizing as well.
hooples3 said:
I HAVE to do this. LMFAO!.