So I was riiding last night threw a dark star lit trail. i was using my led head lamp but it really only lights up the shadows, if you know what i mean. so i start heading down the trail to home and something caught my eye. so i hit the brakes looking back over my shoulder and my headlamp flew off smashing against this big ole maple. so i yelled a curse word as a skidded. WHAM i get caught up inthis sappling and it bent my spokes all to hay. just then this cougar jumps out of the woods and lands on me, its claws just missing my neck. so my instincts kicked in and i acted without thinking. i kicked that boy in the you know whats. so it rolls of me and i got on my now deformed bike and rode a wheelie down 600 yards to my house. boy i tell you when i got home i really enjoyed sitting down and playing movies and games at phuch.com. Whould you belive that my girlfriend didnt belive any of this.
Night Rider
- Thread starter phuch
- Start date
I dunno... but that is a GREAT log in name! 
LIES! 
It is a good story, though.
It is a good story, though.
You know...after I actually read the post, I thought perhaps STINKYBOY had snuck back in under a different log in name...
J
JRB
Guest
I don't know this guy, but I would believe it if it were Stoney.
I would need picturesloco said:
J
JRB
Guest
You wouldn't get them.firetoole said:
yes...yes I did...and thank you!phuch said:
phuch its nice to meet you, now no one can accuse me of not knowing phuch......
J
JRB
Guest
Yeah - well, a panther got me tonight. I just dry humped him a little and he ran away.hooples3 said:
man I hate when that happensloco said:
This is actually 2 stories ( #13 and #149 ) crudely mixed together from the handbook.
i prefer story #33.
So i was riding along the upper stretch of Gold Creek Canyon. My favoritest stretch of singletrack. There is only one forest road to get to it and that's when my fateful encounter occured.
A huge black bear came out and attacked me. At first i tried to use the bike to separate me, but he was so strong he just swatted it out of the way as if it were a small toy. Using wrestling skills i had learned in high school i managed to escape with minimal scrapes from his claws or bites from the beasts jaws. But i knew i was definately in trouble when i was pinned face down and the beast had his way with me in a most defiling manner.
After reaching satisfaction, the bear soon retreated back into the forest. Humiliated i rode away on my bike, lost.
But after much thought i decided that damn bear would not get the better of me. The very next weekend i went up there with a pistol.
Riding along i encountered the same bear, i couldn't believe it. i reached and pulled the pistol out from the holster as the bear charged again. Not being too fimiliar with guns i unfortunately had the safety engaged. Again i was defiled in the exact same manner.
Filled with rage, the very next week i took a shot gun with me. Determined to blow that bastard away i again rode up there the next weekend, yet again the same thing happened.
Armed with an RPG rocket launcher, i again encountered the bear he was waiting for me in the middle of the forest road. i found myself extremely astonished when he spoke... "You're not really here for the mt. biking are you?"
i prefer story #33.
So i was riding along the upper stretch of Gold Creek Canyon. My favoritest stretch of singletrack. There is only one forest road to get to it and that's when my fateful encounter occured.
A huge black bear came out and attacked me. At first i tried to use the bike to separate me, but he was so strong he just swatted it out of the way as if it were a small toy. Using wrestling skills i had learned in high school i managed to escape with minimal scrapes from his claws or bites from the beasts jaws. But i knew i was definately in trouble when i was pinned face down and the beast had his way with me in a most defiling manner.
After reaching satisfaction, the bear soon retreated back into the forest. Humiliated i rode away on my bike, lost.
But after much thought i decided that damn bear would not get the better of me. The very next weekend i went up there with a pistol.
Riding along i encountered the same bear, i couldn't believe it. i reached and pulled the pistol out from the holster as the bear charged again. Not being too fimiliar with guns i unfortunately had the safety engaged. Again i was defiled in the exact same manner.
Filled with rage, the very next week i took a shot gun with me. Determined to blow that bastard away i again rode up there the next weekend, yet again the same thing happened.
Armed with an RPG rocket launcher, i again encountered the bear he was waiting for me in the middle of the forest road. i found myself extremely astonished when he spoke... "You're not really here for the mt. biking are you?"
Kind of like when the pack of ocelots came after me a while back. There were too many to dry hump effectively, so I just passively let them do their dirty work and go on their way.loco said:
I like the porn portal link.... I'm sure that is just what RM wants on his site