[patconnole]

www.theonion.com



KAMPALA, UGANDA—A day after having his hands amputated by soldiers backing President Yoweri Museveni's brutal regime, Ugandan political prisoner Otobo Ankole expressed regret Monday over Uganda's lack of oil reserves. "I dream of the U.S. one day fighting for the liberation of the oppressed Ugandan people," said Ankole as he nursed his bloody stumps. "But, alas, our number-one natural resource is sugar cane." Ankole, whose wife, parents, and five children were among the 4,000 slaughtered in Uganda's ethnic killings of 2002, then bowed his head and said a prayer for petroleum.

 

[patconnole]

LOS ANGELES--Fox executives Monday unveiled their latest reality-TV venture, Appointed By America, a new series in which contestants vie for the top spot in Iraq's post-war government.

 

[LordOpie]

Originally posted by patconnole
www.theonion.com



KAMPALA, UGANDA—A day after having his hands amputated by soldiers backing President Yoweri Museveni's brutal regime, Ugandan political prisoner Otobo Ankole expressed regret Monday over Uganda's lack of oil reserves. "I dream of the U.S. one day fighting for the liberation of the oppressed Ugandan people," said Ankole as he nursed his bloody stumps. "But, alas, our number-one natural resource is sugar cane." Ankole, whose wife, parents, and five children were among the 4,000 slaughtered in Uganda's ethnic killings of 2002, then bowed his head and said a prayer for petroleum.

That's not funny and I can't believe some supposed news source would print something like that.

 

[ohio]

Originally posted by LordOpie
That's not funny and I can't believe some supposed news source would print something like that.

It's the onion, dude.

Satire. Fiction.

Pointing out we don't help people because of oppressive regimes.... get it?

edit: however, the fact that it is pretty believable says a lot about our view of ourselves and what we think world opinion about the US is.

 

[LordOpie]

Originally posted by ohio
It's the onion, dude.

Satire. Fiction.

Pointing out we don't help people because of oppressive regimes.... get it?

edit: however, the fact that it is pretty believable says a lot about our view of ourselves and what we think world opinion about the US is.

I know, i read the onion all the time... just bored at work and wanted to fvck with someone...

 

[valve bouncer]

Originally posted by ohio
It's the onion, dude.

Satire. Fiction.

Pointing out we don't help people because of oppressive regimes.... get it?

edit: however, the fact that it is pretty believable says a lot about our view of ourselves and what we think world opinion about the US is.

If it wasn't Uganda it might be a bit more believable Ohio. As I understand Uganda is actually a democracy although not exactly what you'd find if you looked up democracy in the dictionary. Maybe Congo would be a better example. Good point though when Uzbekistan are in the "good books" just because they support the war and France are the bad guys because they don't. Seems as if someone's priorities are just a little bit out of whack.

 

[fluff]

Originally posted by valve bouncer
Good point though when Uzbekistan are in the "good books" just because they support the war and France are the bad guys because they don't. Seems as if someone's priorities are just a little bit out of whack.

Hmm, certainly makes you think. What would George prefer, a friendly dictatorship, or an unfriendly democratically-elected government?

Oh wait, I think we already know the answer, don't we?