[JohnE]

Thought it would be wise to take advantage of the combined wisdom of Monkeys...post your best pro (bro?) tips here.

Pro tip- it is never a good idea to call your mother in law a fatass.. To her face.

 

[SkaredShtles]

Just the tip, bro.

 

[Westy]

Always make sure there is sufficient wiping materials before taking a dump at a dinner party.

 

[Jm_]

Upgrade your bike with new standards that cost thousands of dollars to keep it from being unridable.

 

[jonKranked]

Pro tip: ride bikes drink beer

 

[jonKranked]

Pro tip: bong shed

 

[Pesqueeb]

Don't stick your dick in crazy.

 

[Muddy]

Never stand for headcount.

 

[jonKranked]

Don't stick your dick in crazy.

Or an electrical outlet

 

[Westy]

Or an electrical outlet

Not really an issue for most of us.

 

[4130biker]

I suppose I can share this little gem with you guys:

 

[cecil]

Never ask a women "when is your due date?" Unless your 100% sure she is pregnant

 

[Serial Midget]

Never ask a women "when is your due date?" Unless your 100% sure she is pregnant

I did that once at a company conference, worst feeling ever.

 

[cecil]

I did that once at a company conference, worst feeling ever.

I know the feeling I did it too at a St paddy's day party

 

[Serial Midget]

I suppose I can share this little gem with you guys:

View attachment 122212

As an 8 year old I used to take stripped twister seals and plug them into the outlet by my bed, they would burn red hot before making a little explosion. The same year I graduated myself to the metal ring springs from glass Christmas ornaments, they'll blow a fuse and piss your dad off real bad so don't do it.

 

[AngryMetalsmith]

Avoid taking work or politics into the woods, it's counterproductive for stress relief.

 

[eric strt6]

Don't stick your dick in crazy.

unless you are at her house and using a condom and an assumed name

 

[canadmos]

Pro tip: bong shed

I'm trying it now.

Thanks for the pro-tip.

 

[cecil]

Don't stick your dick in crazy.

Although Crazy chicks are fun in bed

 

[rockofullr]

Don't stick your dick in crazy.

unless you are at her house and using a condom and an assumed name

Although Crazy chicks are fun in bed

Yeah. I think we need to reword this to: "when sticking your dick in crazy a proper escape plan is mandatory"

 

[kazlx]

Don't have kids if you like having money.

 

[SkaredShtles]

Don't have kids if you like having money.

qft

 

[Westy]

Yeah. I think we need to reword this to: "when sticking your dick in crazy a proper escape plan is mandatory"

All chicks are crazy so one needs to find a good threshold. Don't stick your dick into batshit crazy,

 

[jdcamb]

Although Crazy chicks are fun in bed

And their is just so many of them.

 

[cecil]

And their is just so many of them.

they are all crazy its just a matter of deciding what level of crazy your willing to live with

 

[jonKranked]

Don't stick your dick into batshit

or any other kind of shit for that matter.

 

[Westy]

they are all crazy its just a matter of deciding what level of crazy your willing to live with

Also remember the crazy grows with age.

 

[jdcamb]

Most of the women I have met from Portugal are crazy for some reason. I am not sure why. I am so over all of them.

 

[kickstand]

 

[rockofullr]

Also remember the crazy grows with age.

I'm not sure that I agree with you there

 

[AngryMetalsmith]

they are all crazy its just a matter of deciding what level of crazy your willing to live with

Everyone has baggage. It's just a question of how much. A carry-on is fine, but a storage unit, not so much.

 

[jdcamb]

Everyone has baggage. It's just a question of how much. A carry-on is fine, but a storage unit, not so much.

I am a dreamboat. No Baggage whatsoever.

 

[Westy]

I'm not sure that I agree with you there

Didn't you meet your wife after jumping through a window in a drug fueled moment of insanity? You may have a unicorn...

Or a tranny.

 

[AngryMetalsmith]

I am a dreamboat. No Baggage whatsoever.

Clearly you have just not met the right woman yet.

 

[junkyard]

Bro tip: never trust a fart.

Also they are all crazy sluts, except your mom and even she is suspect.

 

[jdcamb]

Also remember the crazy grows with age.

Bitterness = MC squared.

 

[kazlx]

I always asked women what their credit score was on a first date. I married the one that actually knew.

 

[Tom Ritchey's Moustache]

If the pony makes a loud roar or has large fangs, it is probably not a pony.

I like how most of the posts so far regard dealing with women. You guys are cute. I pity the man who doesn't already know that women are crazy. It's part of our charm.

 

[Westy]

If the pony makes a loud roar or has large fangs, it is probably not a pony.

I like how most of the posts so far regard dealing with women. You guys are cute. I pity the man who doesn't already know that women are crazy. It's part of our charm.

Dudes also be crazy. It probably makes sense to replace 'crazy' with 'asshole' and the pro-tips would probably be equally useful for the ladies. "put your dick" doesn't really apply but you get the point.

 

[Tom Ritchey's Moustache]

"put your dick" doesn't really apply but you get the point.

Well, it could if you have the right accessories and an open mind/b-hole.