Quantcast
  • Two more days to enter the Secret Santa!

    Entries must be in by midnight on November 29th. We're kicking off the 2024 Secret Santa! Exchange gifts with other monkeys - from beer and snacks, to bike gear, to custom machined holiday decorations and tools by our more talented members, there's something for everyone.

    Click here for details and to learn how to participate.

Toshi

butthole powerwashing evangelist
Oct 23, 2001
39,837
8,810
Satire from The Borowitz Report
Bloomberg Offers Trump Ten Billion Dollars to Leave White House by End of Day

By Andy Borowitz
November 8, 2019

NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—The former New York City mayor Michael Bloomberg upended the 2020 Presidential race on Friday by offering Donald J. Trump ten billion dollars to leave the White House by the end of the day.

“I will deposit ten billion dollars into your account in Moscow, Riyadh, or wherever you do your banking these days,” Bloomberg announced. “All you have to do is go.”

In addition to the ten-billion-dollar offer, Bloomberg told Trump that he would cover the moving expenses of Ivanka Trump, Jared Kushner, Kellyanne Conway, and any other associates “that you haven’t already gotten rid of.”

On Capitol Hill, congressional Democrats expressed sadness that Bloomberg’s offer, if successful, would eliminate the need for impeachment, which many of them had been looking forward to.

But Representative Adam Schiff of California struck a more philosophical note. “If ten billion dollars gets rid of Donald Trump, that’s a quid pro quo I’m okay with,” he said.
Too bad it's from Borowitz.
 

mandown

Poopdeck Repost
Jun 1, 2004
21,897
9,184
Transylvania 90210
But are there any Mexicans in Germany? I DONT THINK SO!

TAKE THAT LIBTARDS!

But building and monitoring the wall creates jobs, and it keeps job stealing foreign folks out. It’s a win-win BOGO twofer!
 

Pesqueeb

bicycle in airplane hangar
Feb 2, 2007
41,910
19,236
Riding the baggage carousel.

Interesting. State/Bolton internally overruled OMB/Mulvaney.
The mustache is not amused by this chicanery!

There was some soft headed mouth breather on NPR this morning whose name I didn't catch claiming that the whole Ukraine thing is a non-story because Ukraine got aid "eventually, anyway", therefore, nothing wrong and definitely not a quid-pro-quo.




Semi-related:
 

6thElement

Schrodinger's Immigrant
Jul 29, 2008
17,292
14,772

Pesqueeb

bicycle in airplane hangar
Feb 2, 2007
41,910
19,236
Riding the baggage carousel.
"What a shocking revelation!" - No one who was paying attention.

 

Pesqueeb

bicycle in airplane hangar
Feb 2, 2007
41,910
19,236
Riding the baggage carousel.