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drug testing

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by lovebunny, Nov 16, 2005.

  1. lovebunny

    lovebunny can i lick your balls?

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    how effective are saliva tests?
     

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  2. PatBranch

    PatBranch Turbo Monkey

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    You're screwed and you know it.:D
     
  3. N8 v2.0

    N8 v2.0 Not the sharpest tool in the shed

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    busted!!!
     
  4. lovebunny

    lovebunny can i lick your balls?

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    no im jsut curious
     
  5. lovebunny

    lovebunny can i lick your balls?

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    :sneaky:
     
  6. Slugman

    Slugman Frankenbike

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    depends on whose balls you've been licking...
     
  7. blt2ride

    blt2ride Turbo Monkey

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    They're pretty effective. You might be lucky, maybe they won't test for pot (I'm assuming that would be the problem). You never know, I have known people who have passed drugs tests a few days after hitting the bong. Not all places test for weed, they look for the hardcore drugs...
     
  8. pnj

    pnj Turbo Monkey till the fat lady sings

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    I'll test any drugs you have, just send them my way......:D
     
  9. lovebunny

    lovebunny can i lick your balls?

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    anything i can do? i was hitting the crack pipe pretty hard there yesterday. but seriously if i havent smoked in like 2 weeks and i only usually smoke like once a month am i screwed?
     
  10. Shyrmp

    Shyrmp Nekkid Girl Gone Wild

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    Information for Saliva Tests

    *Are a little more expensive than urine testing, but less than hair or blood. (~$15-$75).

    *Are considered a relatively unintrusive method of drug testing.

    *Are becoming more common.

    *Are easy to administer but require lab processing to ensure accuracy.

    *Detect use primarily within the past few days.

    *Can detect more recent use than other testing methods.

    *Have no nationally accepted standards or cutoff concentrations for detection, making results greatly dependent on the specific product purchased. This could also make results less-reliable and/or acceptable for legal cases.

    *More reliable for detection of Methamphetamine and Opiates, less reliable for THC or Cannabinoids (2004).

    DETECTION PERIODS

    Note:The ranges depend on amount and frequency of use, metabolic rate, body mass, age, overall health, drug tolerance, and urine pH

    SUBSTANCE SALIVA TEST

    Alcohol unknown
    Amphetamine 3 days
    Cannabis (single use) 14 hrs
    Cannabis (habitual use) 14 hrs
    Cocaine 1 day
    Codeine/Morphine 7-21 hrs
    PCP 3 days
    Methamphetamine unknown
     
  11. jimmydean

    jimmydean The Official Meat of Ridemonkey

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    Not sure about swabs, but I know people who have pissed hot after 60 days. Depends on your body though.

    Bet on being screwed, that way there's little shock if you pop.
     
  12. DHS

    DHS Friendly Neighborhood Pool Boy

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    you're screwed
     
  13. greenchris

    greenchris Turbo Monkey

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    if you only smoke once a month and havent in two weeks your good
     
  14. lovebunny

    lovebunny can i lick your balls?

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    heather you are cool
     
  15. fiddy_ryder

    fiddy_ryder Turbo Monkey

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    ive pissed clean with a drink 4days after smoking,, and i was burnin like 4x/week. saliva,, couldnt tell you.. 2 weeks is usually enough to get clean.. lots of water.. and get some riding in to help metabolize any traces left..
     
  16. lovebunny

    lovebunny can i lick your balls?

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    yeah ive been drinking tons of water and stuff since i found out i was gonna be applying for jobs(after i smoked)
     
  17. binary visions

    binary visions The voice of reason

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    Interesting. Looks like saliva tests are only good for weeding out the real addicts who can't go more than a day or so without their substance of choice.

    14 hours? 7-21 hours? Almost seems not worth testing at all. Only the hardiest drug addicts can't go 24 hours... :think:
     
  18. Shyrmp

    Shyrmp Nekkid Girl Gone Wild

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    I know :D :p

    Just hope they don't do a urine test ;)

    SUBSTANCE URINE TEST

    Alcohol 6-24 hrs
    Amphetamine 1-4 days
    Cannabis (single use) 2-3 days
    Cannabis (habitual use) up to 12 wks
    Cocaine 4-5 days
    Codeine/Morphine 2-4 days
    PCP 3-7 days
    Methamphetamine 3-5 days


    Or even worse...a hair test :o

    SUBSTANCE HAIR TEST

    Alcohol n/a
    Amphetamine up to 90 days
    Cannabis (single use) up to 90 days
    Cannabis (habitual use) up to 90 days
    Cocaine up to 90 days
    Codeine/Morphine up to 90 days
    PCP up to 90 days
    Methamphetamine up to 90 days
     
  19. Shyrmp

    Shyrmp Nekkid Girl Gone Wild

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    That is what they are mostly used for and also because they are fairly inexpensive.

    Edit: Saliva tests are more commonly used by insurance companies or law enforcement agencies, rather then employers.
     
  20. stinsonblvd

    stinsonblvd Chimp

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    If it is a urine test, you will not pass. Dont bother with the kits that guarantee you will pass-they do not work.
     
  21. Discostu

    Discostu Monkey

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    I know someone that went into the navy and had to take a urine test within 2 weeks of smoking. He told his recruiter that he wasn't going to pass and the recruiter said to go to the pharmacy and buy a bottle of cranberry pills. He said that if he ate the whole bottle within 12 hours of the test he would pass and whaddya know it worked. I don't know the details of exactly what dosage it was or anything so don't rely on this.
     
  22. lovebunny

    lovebunny can i lick your balls?

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    well the guy doing my interview told me its a saliva test.he was looking at me kinda like he thought i was a stoner because hes like "and you gotta get the drug test.....its a saliva test so dont worry"
     
  23. ThePriceSeliger

    ThePriceSeliger Mushhead

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    Go to you local head shop, and there a pills(don't remember what they are called, but I have a big supply of them) and before you get tested, you take one like every 10 minutes for 2 hours, and it *hides* the substances in your system. If you need a hookup, talk to me on AIM, I could sell you some.
     
  24. Ciaran

    Ciaran Fear my banana

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    Where are you trying to get a job at? Surely there are other places to work that don't test? Maybe get a job as a drug dealer? :D
     
  25. pnj

    pnj Turbo Monkey till the fat lady sings

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    what if you shave your head? do they take your pubs for the hair test?
     
  26. Ciaran

    Ciaran Fear my banana

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    I guess you'll have to shave your head AND your junk.



    oh crap did I just say that? This thread is going to be deleted now!
     
  27. gangstamaxx

    gangstamaxx Monkey

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    where did you find this?
     
  28. Andy_B

    Andy_B Monkey

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    www.google.com
     
  29. Shyrmp

    Shyrmp Nekkid Girl Gone Wild

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    I perform drug testing for my clients and the information was provided by the company that supplies us with our drug testing supplies.

    ...but google would work too. :D
     
  30. lovebunny

    lovebunny can i lick your balls?

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    ok now im screwed i think. they jsut called and told me there switching it from a saliva test to a urine test. if i drink so much water the day of that it doenst have anything in it will they fail me or give me another test on another day?its for vons btw,
     
  31. N8 v2.0

    N8 v2.0 Not the sharpest tool in the shed

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    Not feeling at all sorry for you.

    You know better than to smoke dope.
     
  32. bballboy388

    bballboy388 Monkey

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    whats vons?
     
  33. Sherpa

    Sherpa Basking in fail.

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    Just drink LOTS of water. Never not let yourself drink water and you'll be fine. And if you fail, find another job. It's not like its for probation or anything.
     
  34. lovebunny

    lovebunny can i lick your balls?

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    yeah bud my mom will find out and that will end my life until im 18
     
  35. lovebunny

    lovebunny can i lick your balls?

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    its funny that you say that because that last time i did it i was like ok im done i have a lot of races coming up
     
  36. binary visions

    binary visions The voice of reason

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    Drinking lots of water will help. However, some places will not accept your urine sample if it is too diluted, so there's a chance they may tell you to come back again later. But drink a lot of water between now and when you test, it'll help flush your system.

    Cranberry juice, coffee, there's a million things people tell you. Forget it, just drink the water. They're all just diuretics (spelling?) that make you urinate more and if you drink sufficient water, you'll have to go anyway.

    Now, if what you said is true - that you do it once a month, and you haven't done it in two weeks - well, you're young with probably a pretty good metabolism, there's a good chance you'll be fine. But there's no guarantees, and there is nothing that you can do to get a guarantee. You made the choice to smoke, and this is now a potential consequence. Best thing to do is to face it like a man - if you fail, well, you fail and you're going to have to live with it.

    If there was even the remotest possibility that you were even looking for a job, you have to lay off it - there are just too many places that drug test now.

    Anyway, good luck. Hope you pass. Lots of water, and remember, the results are confidential.
     
  37. amateur

    amateur Turbo Monkey

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    How do you figure? They don't say why you don't get hired, you usually get the "the paperwork didn't go through" answer. Relax. Besides, cocaine is waaaaaay more fun than weed.


    :sneaky:
     
  38. Sherpa

    Sherpa Basking in fail.

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    Yea, how the hell would his mom find out?