[DirtMcGirk]

So my wife gets back from scenic downtown Bagram sometime this month. The details I can't post, but she gets home sometime in March.

We're not divorced yet. I have asked to hold off on that until we can see one another face to face. She, for some reason, agreed.

Here's the rub, I love my wife very, very much, and for all of the problems we have, I can't see a life without her and I cannot envision being with anyone else. It just doesn't appeal to me.

I am debating mounting up some time this month, driving or riding the motorcycle up from Reno to the Island, and meeting her when she gets off the plane, flowers and heart in hand. I love this woman, and I need to show her that I have changed.

I've been sober for 103 days now, I haven't punched anyone out in the same amount of time, I am still seeing my shrink and I have dropped some 40lbs in that amount of time. I know I have a lot more to go to show that I am the man for her, but I love this woman with all that I am, and I need to save this marriage.

So from those of you who have gone right to the brink of divorce, but somehow pulled a rabbit out of your ass, any advice for your old friend Dirt?

She's agreed to come down to Reno to sign the papers, and to spend our last day as a couple together as a family with me and our dogs. I still want to be there when she gets off of the plane, we started this deployment with me dropping her off, I want to finish it that way. Do you think this too bold and assertive?

Anything helps, even the smart ass comments. Thanks in advance.

 

[stinkyboy]

Does your wife know about your sig? Let's start there...

 

[Total Heckler]

Does your wife know about your sig? Let's start there...

Must spread rep...

Mr. Dirt,

It seems as though you are really trying to better yourself for this woman. I think everything you have done is good start but it seems like the relationship itself (not only you) still needs work. But I think you are heading in the right direction. Now see her in person and let her know you want to work on your relationship and do your best to make things work.

Be there to greet her when she lands.

Bring the dogs.


Show her you really care about here and want to make things work.

Bring the paperwork, but don't bring it up.



Best of luck man! Keep us posted.

 

[maddog17]

i'm with Heckler on this one. good luck dude!!

 

[Kanye West]

You may want to address whole whole "rabbits in the ass" issue before trying to sell yourself. Might not help your case. Flower and heart in hand, and rabbit ears sticking out of the ass isn't a turn-on, at least not that I'm aware of.

Can't hurt though. Bring the papers. Just take the "Irish" approach - expect the worst and look forward to getting it over with.

See if she recognizes you, and this could really end up as one epic FML post.

 

[I Are Baboon]

Trying is better than not trying, Dirt. Good luck.

 

[sanjuro]

Seriously, I would be prepared for the worst, which is she has already moved on.

I don't know you or your wife, but you don't want to show up with flowers and candy and she is not interested.

It doesn't mean she is not open to continuing your marriage, but I think realistic expectations would protect you and her.

 

[jimmydean]

My wife and I go through this every other cycle. Sometimes I think being apart would be better than fighting, but when we are good, we are very good.

It takes time. Get some help, both together and for you (I know you were working on you already) and best of luck. Seriously.

 

[Drunken_Ninja]

another bus will come along soon enough...
there are other fish in the sea...
there is nothing like the smell of fresh pvssy...

Get to the f*cking strip bar man and do yourself a favor.

oh yeah and damn right I'd rather be single.

I am sorry but someone has to tell you that it is a numbers game with women.

 

[Total Heckler]

another bus will come along soon enough...
other fish in the sea...
there is nothing like the smell of fresh pvssy...

Get to the f*cking strip bar man and do yourself a favor.

oh yeah and damn right I'd rather be single.

Hes from Canada, don't listen to him.

 

[geargrrl]

I've been sober for 103 days now, I haven't punched anyone out in the same amount of time, I am still seeing my shrink and I have dropped some 40lbs in that amount of time.

wow man, good on ya!

So from those of you who have gone right to the brink of divorce, but somehow pulled a rabbit out of your ass, any advice for your old friend Dirt?

...accept the things I cannot change, and the courage to change the things I can...

 

[mandown]

...careful what you wish for, you just might get it...

 

[skinny mike]

So from those of you who have gone right to the brink of divorce, but somehow pulled a rabbit out of your ass, any advice for your old friend Dirt?

don't forget to stand up and take off your pants before attempting to pull the rabbit out.

 

[Sghost]

I'm with Heckler too.

Bring flowers, but not the candy. The dogs might be overwhelming and if you brought them it would probably cancel any incentive for the Reno trip, but that's your call.

Fix some stuff that's broken in your house and get a few plants.

 

[AngryMetalsmith]

don't forget to stand up and take off your pants before attempting to pull the rabbit out.

This is good advise.

 

[H8R]

Flowers?

If my life and happiness was on the line like this I'd bring a fvcking marching band and fireworks.

Go all out. What do have to lose?


Dress sharp, write her a letter (hand write it), bring flowers and some unique memento of your marriage. A pic, whatever. Something you can't imagine ever losing and that will make her think of your time together.


Be prepared for the worst, hope for the best.


Good luck mang.

 

[DirtMcGirk]

The rabbit is just sticking its nose out. Makes pooping rather disconcerting. I go to wipe my ass and it bites my fingers through the TP. It throws my whole day off.

I think taking the dogs would be a bad idea. She's supposed to be turning around the next day and going with her mother to Maui, then she comes back, goes to a wedding in Texas that I am trying to avoid (long story, but its enough to say that poking the bear with an anger problem with lines like "Well maybe she just needs to **** a few other guys" is not a good idea for the long term survival) and then comes down here to Reno.

I need to work out when she lands, and how that factors into my placement exams for the various police agencies I have applied to.

I will admit that at first I got into AA, therapy and anger management for her. Now its for me. At the end of the day I am the one who does or does not hoist the bottle to my lips, who chooses or does not choose to get into a knock down drag out, and who chooses or does not choose to deal with a life time of issues that finally got the better of me. The only way for me to make these things stick is to do it for me, regardless of where the chips fall.

 

[dhmike]

you should be there when she gets off the plane . keeep up the good work and best of luck to you !

 

[RUFUS]

More power to you dude. If you love her, show her and hopefully all will be all good. Try your hardest and if it doesn't work out for the best at least you come out knowing that you tried your hardest and that you have bettered yourself and that you will stay that way.

I don't personally know you but I am very proud of you.

 

[Serial Midget]

This will win her back...

 

[loco-gringo]

First get rid of that stupid ass hair cut...

If things don't work out, I'm in TX.




Seriously, hope it works out.

 

[valve bouncer]

Remember Dirt it's a fine line between wooing back and stalking. Good luck.

 

[jebfour]

Without knowing you or your wife I don't think it would be right of me to offer advice... (Though I think H8R was on the right track).

I will say that I wish you the best of luck.

 

[AngryMetalsmith]

The not drinking thing is a weird animal ain't it?

Whether she takes yer nasty ass back or not, you're taking major steps toward being a better person. Props.

Good luck Honky !

 

[DirtMcGirk]

Not drinking is a strange, but really good thing.

I was out running my dogs over a couple miles today, and for the first time I can remember, I ran longer than they could. The body is kicking out the last of the toxins I think, I smell like burnt hell and hair right now. I'm riding more, running a lot more, and am a much happier person because of it.

Mind you I am still a cunt, but I will always be a cunt. Just who I am on the inside.

I am hoping to hear from her when she gets to Virginia. That gives me enough time to get up there, find lodging, all of that.

My only fear is that she might see this as an ambush, or that some of her Navy "friends" might try to interject their own thoughts, which I don't think, even as the new and improved me, that I would react too well to that.

 

[geargrrl]

I am really glad to hear how your growth is progressing. Hopefully you like your new self enough to never go back.

As one one those "almost divorced but pulled it out of the hat" types... here's my potential insight. For all I know I'm way off base but here goes. In some ways, it almost sounds like you are obsessed with the idea of this woman, which is something different from loving someone wholly. Deep, intimate love doesn't come out of need, it comes out of giving. The possibility may exist that with your growth and change, she isn't going to be the person you think she is. Typically when one person undergoes significant real change ( and don't tell me getting sober etc isn't) and the other doesn't, the whole dynamic of the relationship will change. There can be a real learning curve in simple things like re-learning how to communicate effectively.

Of course I wish you the best, as a rabbit-puller who wouldn't go back to the way things were EVER. I just hope she's willing to meet you half way because a healthy, successful marriage is about team work.

gg

 

[Drunken_Ninja]

oh gag me with a chainsaw...or at least a pizza ladle, this thread is too much

 

[SkaredShtles]

Trying is better than not trying, Dirt. Good luck.

No......

 

[TreeSaw]

I am really glad to hear how your growth is progressing. Hopefully you like your new self enough to never go back.

As one one those "almost divorced but pulled it out of the hat" types... here's my potential insight. For all I know I'm way off base but here goes. In some ways, it almost sounds like you are obsessed with the idea of this woman, which is something different from loving someone wholly. Deep, intimate love doesn't come out of need, it comes out of giving. The possibility may exist that with your growth and change, she isn't going to be the person you think she is. Typically when one person undergoes significant real change ( and don't tell me getting sober etc isn't) and the other doesn't, the whole dynamic of the relationship will change. There can be a real learning curve in simple things like re-learning how to communicate effectively.

Of course I wish you the best, as a rabbit-puller who wouldn't go back to the way things were EVER. I just hope she's willing to meet you half way because a healthy, successful marriage is about team work.

gg

I feel truly blessed that my husband & I have not been in a situation like this. We've been married almost 11 years and I wouldn't change a thing, but we're definitely a team and have learned to communicate and understand that we are each our own person that is not expected to change for the other.

You're on the right track to getting a better life for yourself (with or without her) and I wish you the best.

 

[lovebunny]

whenever i read these threads it always makes me think of faith no more.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/FwL6gS6HyTQ&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/FwL6gS6HyTQ&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

 

[Slugman]

When you go to the fridge and the milk has gone bad, do you put it back in the fridge and hope that it will be better tomorrow?

Just saying...

 

[boogenman]

greet her, take her into the woods, chop her into small chunks and start over.


I think you will have a hard time making it work, good luck man.

 

[H8R]

When you go to the fridge and the milk has gone bad, do you put it back in the fridge and hope that it will be better tomorrow?

Just saying...

Buy the milk some flowers. That always helps.

 

[DirtMcGirk]

whenever i read these threads it always makes me think of faith no more.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/FwL6gS6HyTQ&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/FwL6gS6HyTQ&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

This is just rad.

 

[Slugman]

This is just rad.

Welcome to the '80s

 

[Damo]

I remember FNM being much cooler than that.

+ given however for a damn good song.

 

[DirtMcGirk]

Just got the divorce papers in the mail.
Reminded me of how much I hate lawyers, especially inept ones.

I told her there was no way I was signing anything until we saw each other face to face, looked into each other's eyes. If I see in her eyes its over I will sign and walk into the sunset, but if not I am in it to win it.

By the way, anyone seen the Will Farrel spoofs GWB thing on HBO? Someone just made Condi sexy, and that made me smile.

 

[RUFUS]

This is just rad.

I didn't see Mike Rowe in there anywhere, WTF???

 

[DirtMcGirk]

I didn't see Mike Rowe in there anywhere, WTF???

Contrary to your mostly disturbing sexual needs involving Mike Rowe, not everything for the rest of us needs to include his sculpted features, chiseled jaw, rugged good looks and natural sexuality in order for them to be rad.

Just sayin...

 

[RUFUS]

Contrary to your mostly disturbing sexual needs involving Mike Rowe, not everything for the rest of us needs to include his sculpted features, chiseled jaw, rugged good looks and natural sexuality in order for them to be rad.

Just sayin...

Sometimes you make me wonder Dirt!

Great song for a great show!