[DirtMcGirk]

Sometimes you make me wonder Dirt!

Great song for a great show!

Sometimes? I don't think I am doing my job very well unless you're wondering constantly, even when not on the Monkey. I need to have people wondering while at work, or while dropping the kids off at the pool, or while showing their old lady a good time on a Saturday night.

I'm an attention whore, but on a much more epic and disturbing level than PSP.

 

[stevew]

are you mentally prepared for her to be walking off the plane, arm in arm, with the other guy?

 

[DirtMcGirk]

Not in the slightest.

 

[stevew]

fvck it....get a flight for the u.s pole dancing championships today.

nsfw maybe....everyone has clothes on in the site...

 

[jimmydean]

fvck it....get a flight for the u.s pole dancing championships today.

nsfw maybe....everyone has clothes on in the site...

That's awesome. Doc's has the pole olympics here that are interesting.

 

[Brian HCM#1]

When you go to the fridge and the milk has gone bad, do you put it back in the fridge and hope that it will be better tomorrow?

Just saying...

Just add chocolate syrup, that should cover it for a while longer.

 

[Wumpus]

goes to a wedding in Texas that I am trying to avoid (long story, but its enough to say that poking the bear with an anger problem with lines like "Well maybe she just needs to **** a few other guys" is not a good idea for the long term survival)

My only fear is that she might see this as an ambush, or that some of her Navy "friends" might try to interject their own thoughts, which I don't think, even as the new and improved me, that I would react too well to that.

Not in the slightest.

Just sounds like a bad idea to me.

 

[johnbryanpeters]

Remember Dirt it's a fine line between wooing back and stalking. Good luck.

 

[stevew]

i'm putting my money on a restraining order coming out of this....

 

[loco-gringo]

Just sounds like a bad idea to me.

Stop with your bad advice. With any luck it would all unfold in Austin and we could maybe watch it unfold. Worse case we'll catch it on the news.

 

[$tinkle]

i'm putting my money on a restraining order coming out of this....

only if done properly


dirt: be ready to accept a very humiliating confrontation. but at least one that you can turn into a rape scene in your mind. i forget the precise category of therapy this is called

any chance you can u2b this from your mobile? promise i'll +rep

 

[dante]

Dirt - Keep in mind that marriage (or any relationship) is about the feelings and work of both people. You've changed, and you've made yourself a better person, but at the end of the day she is going to have her own feelings, thoughts and emotions. It seems like the distance issue has been a big one for her, and if she is just home on leave (?) or is heading back overseas there could still be those emotions.

So understand why she is asking for a divorce, work to change that aspect if you can, but be ready to accept the fact that if you can't, anything you do/say might not work due to her feelings, not your actions. So pull out all the stops, meet her, try to keep her, and show her how you've changed... just understand going into it that it may not be enough to change how she feels.

At the very least, we're here for you... <--- Non-alcoholic beer

 

[CrabJoe StretchPants]

At the very least, we're here for you... <--- Non-alcoholic beer

Well........we were, until he started his dong bag thread.

 

[Prettym1k3]

There's nothing broken that can't be mended, man.

Keep up the good work in changing yourself. You're obviously at a point where it's no longer just for her, but it's for you, because you see that the change was necessary to lead a healthy, happy life... so that you can be happy, as well as your family.

Don't let her forget that you love her, but don't make any promises you can't keep. Be realistic, and promise her realistic change...

 

[Prettym1k3]

When you go to the fridge and the milk has gone bad, do you put it back in the fridge and hope that it will be better tomorrow?

Just saying...

Horrible view of a marriage in distress. Shows peoples' inability these days to stick to their promises, and to hold true the love they promised through thick and thin, good and bad, sickness and health.

 

[Slugman]

Horrible view of a marriage in distress. Shows peoples' inability these days to stick to their promises, and to hold true the love they promised through thick and thin, good and bad, sickness and health.

Distress?!?!?!?! have you read any of his other threads about his marriage? From what I read, "distress" was a few years ago - now it's in rigor mortis.

 

[Sghost]

 

[$tinkle]

don't make any promises you can't keep. Be realistic, and promise her realistic change...

x2

assuming you don't want any future resentment (going either way), abide by this

 

[DirtMcGirk]

The changes that I have made, i.e. not drinking, dropping 40 lbs, passing an anger management class, going to a shrink, in the end have to be for me. If you start trying to make changes tied to another person, you're setting yourself up for failure both in the long and short run.

There was a time in this life when I was a pretty happy guy, who only fought when he had to, normally had a smile on his face and something funny to say. In the last five years, I lost touch with that guy, and I really miss him. Moving a lot of times, being on the beck and call of a system that I have substantial problems with, and not allowing myself to be, well, myself, made it so at the end of the day I resented her and hated myself.

I don't want to be that way anymore.

I know I love this woman, but at the same time I have to accept that love, for her, might not be enough. Now its about money, status, things that while appealing, do not hold the interest for me that they do for her.

I'm going to give it one last shot with her when she gets down here. If that's not enough, then I wish her well and may she go with god.

 

[H8R]

Now its about money, status, things that while appealing, do not hold the interest for me that they do for her.

All of that sh1t is meaningless. Seriously.

When it all falls apart, you need someone who is right by your side. Someone who will keep a promise. (and I'm sure you know how fast it can all fall apart...)


If she is that someone, then good luck. If she isn't, let it go man.

 

[$tinkle]

I know I love this woman, but at the same time I have to accept that love, for her, might not be enough. Now its about money, status, things that while appealing, do not hold the interest for me that they do for her.

then you should wait until she stops being a little girl & decides to be an adult, like you seem to have done.

i mean if *you* can do it...

 

[DirtMcGirk]

All of that sh1t is meaningless. Seriously.

When it all falls apart, you need someone who is right by your side. Someone who will keep a promise. (and I'm sure you know how fast it can all fall apart...)


If she is that someone, then good luck. If she isn't, let it go man.

You're right.

I made a vow to this woman, not for a defined amount of time, but until death do us part. Good times, bad times, sick times, healthy times, we made a vow to roll on through.

I know that I was a ****ty husband, and that I made more than my fair share of mistakes. However, I have always tried to make amends, and to work through things, just as I am doing now.

I think she's always seen her self as perfect, beyond reproach. Medical school, and her whack-a-doo family taught her to think that way.

I have this feeling its all over.

 

[in the trees]

Good luck with everything. My thoughts are with you.

toby

 

[MMike]

Now there's nothing stopping you from greeting her at the airport with two 22-year-old scantily-clad twinkies hanging off of you. THAT would be fun.....

 

[$tinkle]

especially if they were girls

ed: you decide if you want to click
http://www.celebritiesnightclub.com/files/images/TwinkiesPoster.jpg

 

[brungeman]

I have this feeling its all over.

Dirt,
First off, I am super stoked for you and the progress you have made within yourself.

Although I don't know either of you personally, I will speak from my own experience... You have to think of her position, and when she gets off of that plane... she is going to have a wall built up, and be ready for battle to defend it. If you go in too hot, she will shut down... (although not in my marriage, it happened to me like that in a serious relationship). She knows you are going to want to change her mind, and you have to be ready with the Jedi-mind tricks to change her mind for her without her knowing you are changing it. You are going to have to be supportive of her, and come at the situation from the back door. Don't be too assertive with your displays of affection, show her that regardless of the situation, that you would be there for her as a friend offering her flowers upon a safe arrival home from an ugly and dangerous situation. (that is based on the quote above)...

also, Do not argue the fact that she is not perfect. Accept the things she says that you did wrong and humbly apologize for them. Thank her for helping you, help yourself. Humbly explain the accomplishments you have made (as you have here). your calm and level headed nature will show her you have changed, and if she can see through the wall she has built (and the crap that she is feeling for this other cat doesn't fog her mind) she will come around... if not, then you know you have given it your best shot.

as I stated, I don't know you personally, but from all that was said, it sounds like a similar situation... and the efforts I put in that day elongated the relationship, till I realized that she was a controlling b!tch and I really didn't want her any way.

just my .02

good luck mang!
Dave

 

[loco-gringo]

Now there's nothing stopping you from greeting her at the airport with two 22-year-old scantily-clad twinkies hanging off of you. THAT would be fun.....

Have you seen this guy??? Seriously...he's not made of money.

 

[Wumpus]

 

[DirtMcGirk]

That's hot!

 

[llkoolkeg]

I had some cute & clever things to share but as a married guy who's also effed up previously, I fear I'd be tempting fate. Once accustomed to boots on tap, the dating scene's a pile o' crap. Best of luck to you.

 

[Prettym1k3]

The changes that I have made, i.e. not drinking, dropping 40 lbs, passing an anger management class, going to a shrink, in the end have to be for me. If you start trying to make changes tied to another person, you're setting yourself up for failure both in the long and short run.

There was a time in this life when I was a pretty happy guy, who only fought when he had to, normally had a smile on his face and something funny to say. In the last five years, I lost touch with that guy, and I really miss him. Moving a lot of times, being on the beck and call of a system that I have substantial problems with, and not allowing myself to be, well, myself, made it so at the end of the day I resented her and hated myself.

I don't want to be that way anymore.

I know I love this woman, but at the same time I have to accept that love, for her, might not be enough. Now its about money, status, things that while appealing, do not hold the interest for me that they do for her.

I'm going to give it one last shot with her when she gets down here. If that's not enough, then I wish her well and may she go with god.

Ultimately, man, don't listen to the naysayers. Your marriage isn't "over" until you and her both choose to sign papers dissolving your legal relationship. But the commitment you made to each other continues on.

It's hard to have faith in people these days when all that most of us see are folks that won't stick things out unless it benefits them. Taking care of yourself is one thing, but when you commit to marriage, it becomes less about you, and more about the other person. One of the reasons why so many marriages fail is that people forget this. When things go wrong, and someone feels like they got the raw end of the deal, they run away instead of holding to their commitment, holding to the love they promised, and most importantly, holding on to the person they said they would hold onto despite whatever may happen.

I understand that marriage isn't taken seriously anymore, and that the Christian values of marriage have been watered down, diluted, and polluted by those in the limelight, those "new age thinkers" as well as Christians across the board. And when you look at huge numbers like "50% of all divorces both in, and out of, Christian households end in divorce" it's overwhelming!

But when taken on a case-by-case basis, if the two parties are willing (or in some cases, if even only one party is willing), things can be fixed. No, they will not go back to how things were. But they can be repaired.

She's been gone for a long time, man. You haven't seen each other. Don't let anyone tell you what to do. Do what you feel is right, do what you have to do, and as the leader in your marriage, do anything and everything you have to do to keep it. It's your duty.

To have and to hold, to death do you part. - That's your duty. Hold steadfast.

 

[DirtMcGirk]

Pretty, if I am around for the Otter, I think we should hang out.

 

[geargrrl]

I understand that marriage isn't taken seriously anymore, and that the Christian values of marriage have been watered down, diluted, and polluted by those in the limelight, those "new age thinkers" as well as Christians across the board. And when you look at huge numbers like "50% of all divorces both in, and out of, Christian households end in divorce" it's overwhelming!

Just want to point out that the values of love, commitment and giving more than you get belong to the world, not just Christians...

 

[Prettym1k3]

Pretty, if I am around for the Otter, I think we should hang out.

I'm down, man. You should definitely make it down for The Classic. I'll be the only guy at Sea Otter on a Zumbi frame... at least, I think I will be. That's probably the best way to spot me.

But I should be out there Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and possibly the first part of Sunday. So just let me know when you want to hook up, and we'll grab some food.

 

[Prettym1k3]

Just want to point out that the values of love, commitment and giving more than you get belong to the world, not just Christians...

Despite the fact that I am a Christian, I only said that because the majority of folks today find marriage to be an old school Christian outlook on life-commitment between two people. That's all.

I agree with what you've said.