[N8 v2.0]

It's hell to be 19.

i think from 18-21 is a very difficult age. You are in no way an adult but you aren't a high school kid either.

You want to be a grownup but you also don’t want the responsibility for your actions like a kid.

An awkward time indeed.

Fortunately, around 23 or 24 your realize your parents did know WTF they were talking about and had your best interest in mind. Takes some maturity to realize that.

 

[Ciaran]

are you referring to your generation's parents? then of course most people my age don't know what your definition of "strict" is, it is no longer socially acceptable to beat your kids or threaten violence to keep them in line.

Whe you get older you will realize that things don't really change that much from generation to generation. Also, EVRY new generation of kids uses these same arguments. My dad used them on his dad, I used them on my dad, and my kid will use them on me.

society has changed a good deal since most of the parents here were kids, even over the past 10 years so much has changed. so i don't really get why people are trying to raise their kids the way they did in the 50s and 60s. i'm not saying people just need to let their kids run free and do whatever they want, everyone just needs to realize that these days it is so much more effective to just level with their kids and try and foster a relationship built on trust and mutual respect.

Actually society and people haven't really changed that much. Like somone else said, good parenting is timeless. It seems like a big change when you're young and everything is new and exciting.

i'm not completely sure why everyone is immediately dismissing my advice, all of the advice that i am giving on being honest and not trying to be a dictator is from my personal experiences. i guess i'm just trying to get across the point that parents don't need to rule with an iron fist or baby/shelter their kids in order for them to turn out ok.

We're dismissing your advice because it's the same advice EVERY teen gives about parenting. "When I grow up I am not going to be like my parents!"

i'm not saying this is the end-all-be-all for raising kids, i just figured i would try and give a different point of view on the subject. trust me, i know all too well what it's like at that age when you are just trying as hard as you can to fit in and your self esteem is in the gutter. i am well aware of how peer pressure can make you cave in when you're that meek, little kid just trying to make some friends. i still haven't completely shaken off the remnants of that stage, so i can say that i can definitely relate to what is happening with H8R's daughter's social life. so many things in my life have gotten so much easier since my parents finally opened up and let me know that i could trust them not to pass judgement or punish me if i needed someone to talk to, i still have so many friends who don't trust their parents because they don't have anyone in their family to talk to without worrying about getting in trouble.

Your friends and their parents have bigger issues than being "too strict". Those are communication and trust issues, not discipline issues.

but whatever, i mean i'm just some dumb kid, what the hell do i know about teenagers?

No one is saying that you are a dumb kid, just that you lack the experience to give advice on parenting teenagers. That we're discussing the issue with you and not just brushing you off is a testament to the fact that we don't think that you are just some dumb kid.

 

[Upgr8r]

We're dismissing your advice because it's the same advice EVERY teen gives about parenting. "When I grow up I am not going to be like my parents!"

God I remember saying that yet the older I get the more I sound like my Dad

 

[fortenndu]

I know a girl who got caught stealing 104$ of condoms and dildo.

 

[TN]

I smell a Jamie Spears in the works.

 

[Durt]

I check up on my 14 year old daughter every single time she leaves the house. She now expects it and it helps to keep her in line. At one point, after checking up for the 3rd time in as many hours, my wife asked me if I really truly wanted to know what was going on because I may not like what I found. You bet your f-ing ass I want to know so I can straighten out any monkey business right away.

I check up. She knows it and all of her little buddies know it too. It is my hope that if they are out together and one of the group is about to do something stupid, maybe, just maybe, one of them will pause and say "Ya know, your Dad might be watching us right now."

 

[r464]

I know a girl who got caught stealing 104$ of condoms and dildo.

How well do you know her?

 

[H8R]

We're dismissing your advice because it's the same advice EVERY teen gives about parenting. "When I grow up I am not going to be like my parents!"

I'm not like my parents at all. They fvcked up the whole "follow through" thing pretty epically.

 

[H8R]

I check up on my 14 year old daughter every single time she leaves the house. She now expects it and it helps to keep her in line. At one point, after checking up for the 3rd time in as many hours, my wife asked me if I really truly wanted to know what was going on because I may not like what I found. You bet your f-ing ass I want to know so I can straighten out any monkey business right away.

I check up. She knows it and all of her little buddies know it too. It is my hope that if they are out together and one of the group is about to do something stupid, maybe, just maybe, one of them will pause and say "Ya know, your Dad might be watching us right now."

High five for the vigilant dads.

 

[drumbum540]

I am a 13 year old boy who has never stolen anything, done any drugs, or drank alcohol. there are very few kids who haven't done any of those things. Yet my mom thinks I am a terrible kid just because of my hairstyle. haha. its not even a crazy hairstyle its a little faux hawk. but oh well, I used to hang out with a bad kid but now i only have about 6 "true" friends. most of which are girls because they seem to stay out of the most trouble. I do think you should be happy in a way that she wasn't involved in any of the stealing, and does not want to hang out with her anymore. I bet she was scared out of her mind, and learned not to hang out with that type of croud like me.

 

[H8R]

Not necessarily, tho I can see why you might say that. My son ( hs senior) gave us the double thumbs up the other day, says we are the only parents he knows of that that aren't really messed up. We have rules and responsibilities, ask for accountability;:we are parents, not "buddies" but it's cool that he thinks we are cool.

gg

It's ok for your kids to admire you and think you are cool people, just not the coolest. They should know that when they push certain boundaries that there is no give.

 

[James]

When I was around 14 or 15 I was told I wasn't allowed to hang with one particularly bad egg.

And yet, years later, here we are.

 

[Red Rabbit]

H8R should teach parenting classes.

 

[SPINTECK]

I'm not sure what i'd worry about more, the girl stealing the bras or the local Sears security people staring at girls shopping for bras.

 

[SkaredShtles]

I am a 13 year old boy who has never stolen anything, done any drugs, or drank alcohol. there are very few kids who haven't done any of those things. Yet my mom thinks I am a terrible kid just because of my hairstyle. haha. its not even a crazy hairstyle its a little faux hawk.

She's right.

 

[H8R]

H8R should teach parenting classes.

I need to give alot of credit to my wife. She is naturally gifted at parenting and a real inspiration to me.

We work together really well as a team. I am the practical one and she provides emotional stability. She also understands the minutiae of teenage female psychosis and is able to see through it better than me.

I can already see that our roles will eventually reverse a bit as my son grows older. She will provide some comfort while I harden him up. Balance is important.

 

[vtjim]

And yet, years later, here we are.

You wish it was you, though my parents did ask me why I hung out with you at one point. I still can't figure that one out...


PJ

 

[N8 v2.0]

I am a 13 year old boy who has never stolen anything, done any drugs, or drank alcohol. there are very few kids who haven't done any of those things. Yet my mom thinks I am a terrible kid just because of my hairstyle. haha. its not even a crazy hairstyle its a little faux hawk. but oh well, I used to hang out with a bad kid but now i only have about 6 "true" friends. most of which are girls because they seem to stay out of the most trouble. I do think you should be happy in a way that she wasn't involved in any of the stealing, and does not want to hang out with her anymore. I bet she was scared out of her mind, and learned not to hang out with that type of croud like me.

wow... actual grammer-n-chit!!!

 

[James]

You wish it was you, though my parents did ask me why I hung out with you at one point. I still can't figure that one out...


PJ

No, I know it wasn't me. I'm still curious about that myself, but luckily soon after I totally won your parents (but not your sister) over. I thought that TCBY would totally do the trick too!

 

[Brian HCM#1]

Can I get your daughter's friend's phone number?

That's awfully nice of you, the two sitting down together having girl to girl talk. Before you know it you'll be discussing your first menstrual cycle with her.

 

[fortenndu]

How well do you know her?

I've been bitten and licked by her, but I don't really know her.

 

[drumbum540]

SkaredShtles -it's not a very big faux hawk. in fact it barely even looks like one.
N8- I is actualie ae goot spellr.

 

[SPINTECK]

That's awfully nice of you, the two sitting down together having girl to girl talk. Before you know it you'll be discussing your first menstrual cycle with her.

Opie hasn't gotten his period back since he gave birth a few months ago

 

[stevew]

my old man was from the Depression & WWII Era when you went to work in 6th grade to help support your family.

Punishment was harsh but fair.

Both my grandfather and my dad and both of his brothers were aquainted with the business end of my great grandfathers cat of nine tails.

They did not fvck up much.

 

[Evil plug]

I've been bitten and licked by her, but I don't really know her.

I actually laughed when i read this. Im not sure why though

 

[.:Jeenyus:.]

part of being a child/teenager is ****ing up. it is going to happen, and the parents should be aware of that. the problem that i see way too much around here is that so many of the parents are not on the same level as the kids, which leads to lying and kids getting into much worse of situations whilst trying to keep their parents from finding out.

it seems that your kid has her head on straight though. my town is called "two square miles surrounded by reality" for a reason. the type of childhood that she appears to have had is vastly different from most all of the kids i know. although you are going to have to be able to let go at some point, and 16 is getting close...

 

[Ciaran]

I'm not like my parents at all.

So your parents are normal responsible folks then?

Balance is important.

You are very wise, grasshoppah. In all aspects of life, balance is important.

 

[Brian HCM#1]

Opie hasn't gotten his period back since he gave birth a few months ago

That's true, but he'd be reflecting back. Now he'll be talking about taking Women's 1 A Day, and how much more energy he has, even after giving birth.

 

[DRB]

...while I harden him up.

Sicko, I'm calling social services.

 

[SkaredShtles]

<snip> my town is called "two square miles surrounded by reality" for a reason.

You live in Boulder, CO?

 

[loosecannon]

Kill her friend!