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canadmos

Cake Tease
May 29, 2011
21,997
21,523
Canaderp
Conference call at 7am this morning was a sham. It was with a guy from Austria and his first words went something like "hi guys, what are zee looking for, because I'm not the one responsible for any of these procedures or implementation". Dude. Why the fuck schedule this then and at a time before most of us are even in the office on this side of the world?

Anyways...coffee. The building I'm at today has these posted in the stalls. Who on earth caused this to be posted??

 

iRider

Turbo Monkey
Apr 5, 2008
5,705
3,169
while practical, they are expensive, drive like boats, and have poor fuel economy. also very limited on AWD options.
Is the VW Caddy not available in the US? Pretty good car if you need to transport things but do not want to step up to a VW Multivan-sized vehicle. Available with 4WD and a bunch of engines, my diesel one gets 40 mpg.
 

Toshi

butthole powerwashing evangelist
Oct 23, 2001
39,767
8,762
Is the VW Caddy not available in the US? Pretty good car if you need to transport things but do not want to step up to a VW Multivan-sized vehicle. Available with 4WD and a bunch of engines, my diesel one gets 40 mpg.
That looks like Transit Connect sized. We get a Transit Connect but only in 4 cyl gas, automatic, FWD guise.
 

Toshi

butthole powerwashing evangelist
Oct 23, 2001
39,767
8,762
TIL that Jon is middle aged and possibly a woman at heart
 

Nick

My name is Nick
Sep 21, 2001
24,916
16,501
where the trails are
I'd rock an AWD van. I wish I could get a modernized Vanagon; 2.0t motor, full pop-up roof (not 45*) and removable rear captian's seats.
 

Toshi

butthole powerwashing evangelist
Oct 23, 2001
39,767
8,762
if i ever went the van route, i'd try and snag an old e350 4x4.
There was never a factory Econoline 4x4 afaik. All via Quigley aftermarket and the like (albeit with Super Duty sourced parts).

There was a factory AWD GMC 1500 series van as @johnbryanpeters has/had (sold it yet?), kind of weaksauce.
 

Sandwich

Pig my fish!
Staff member
May 23, 2002
21,835
7,095
borcester rhymes
I am one of those middle aged suburbanite scumlords that refuses to own a minivan. Sorry, not going to happen.

Instead, we have a Subaru Ascent, which is basically a minivan with swingy doors instead of slidey doors. Same high-riding, cavernous interior, and three rows for that one time we carried a person. Still, not a minivan

I'm hoping wagons will come back in style once the boomers die and people like me can afford them. Car-like drive with minivan space? Sign me up...oh wait- there are none in the US anymore...
 

jimmydean

The Official Meat of Ridemonkey
Sep 10, 2001
43,105
15,185
Portland, OR
unless you crash. Then bye-bye legs
I saw a few pretty banged up when I drove tow truck.

Funny story:
Safari gets t-boned in this crazy intersection. Cop says "I hope you can get this cleared quick". I hooked the back wheels, didn't strap them, was trying to just get it out of the intersection.

Nope, it's AWD and as the wheels come off the chocks, the bumper catches on the way down and rips clean off. :rofl:

The van was a total loss anyway, but it took even longer to rehook, and put Dolly's on the front.

I had never even realize they were AWD before that moment.
 

Toshi

butthole powerwashing evangelist
Oct 23, 2001
39,767
8,762
I am one of those middle aged suburbanite scumlords that refuses to own a minivan. Sorry, not going to happen.

Instead, we have a Subaru Ascent, which is basically a minivan with swingy doors instead of slidey doors. Same high-riding, cavernous interior, and three rows for that one time we carried a person. Still, not a minivan

I'm hoping wagons will come back in style once the boomers die and people like me can afford them. Car-like drive with minivan space? Sign me up...oh wait- there are none in the US anymore...
Wagons do not have minivan space. Wagons do not even have CUV space.

Hot take: Wagons are equally compromised as CUVs. Minivans are the most utilitarian.
:eek:
that's awesome. I can't find info if AWD is available. Anyone know?
No Metris AWD in USA (not sure if in Europe) so that'd be a no for now.
 

jonKranked

Detective Dookie
Nov 10, 2005
88,827
27,043
media blackout
There was never a factory Econoline 4x4 afaik. All via Quigley aftermarket and the like (albeit with Super Duty sourced parts)
you are correct. but my understanding is that quiqley typically only works on new vans, and coordinates with dealers for purchase and delivery, doesn't void the manufacturers warranty, and used OEM parts (where possible). as close to factory as you can get.

mercedes finally started selling the 4x4 sprinter in the US a few years ago.
 

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
56,016
22,047
Sleazattle
when i was in high school i would use my parents mini van like this. bike + camp = win.

Wait - are you talking about SUV's or minivans? :D

And AWD is great and all, but wholly unnecessary if you run proper tires.

These minivans aren't competing with sports cars/sedans. They are a practical alternative to large (5+ passenger) SUVs and pickups, which:
  • are more expensive
  • drive more boat-like
  • even worse fuel economy
All those people take their SUVs off road. LOL

I hooned the living shit out of a rental minivan on about 20 miles of rough fire roads outside Tucson to ride with a bunch of monkeys many moons ago. It handled it like a champ until I actually pinch flatted a tire on a big rock.
 

Toshi

butthole powerwashing evangelist
Oct 23, 2001
39,767
8,762
maybe you don't need a bigger car, maybe you need less shit
Fun fact of the day: My 100 series Land Cruiser is all of 3" longer than your Outback. It's just much more of an upright box.
 

jonKranked

Detective Dookie
Nov 10, 2005
88,827
27,043
media blackout
Fun fact of the day: My 100 series Land Cruiser is all of 3" longer than your Outback. It's just much more of an upright box.
the outback is nice. an SUV in everything but name. wife and i have discussed an Ascent, for the 4 times a year we'd need to have more than 4 people in the car at a time. we're in no rush.
 

Toshi

butthole powerwashing evangelist
Oct 23, 2001
39,767
8,762
if i get a van, it will not be of the mini variety.
"Real" vans are a pain in the ass, IMO. Fixed seat pitch that's small so as to maximize nominal capacity for the hotel shuttle crowd. High floors because of antiquated body on frame platforms.
 

jonKranked

Detective Dookie
Nov 10, 2005
88,827
27,043
media blackout
"Real" vans are a pain in the ass, IMO. Fixed seat pitch that's small so as to maximize nominal capacity for the hotel shuttle crowd. High floors because of antiquated body on frame platforms.
you seem to be operating under the assumption i'd be using it as a daily driver.
 

Sandro

Terrified of Cucumbers
Nov 12, 2006
3,228
2,541
The old world
Almost ordered a Touran R-line last year, which I think doesn’t look nearly as bad as a lot of other Minivans:

Alas, no hybrid option, so I had to go with the only car that’s even more boring, the (Euro) Passat.
 

Sandro

Terrified of Cucumbers
Nov 12, 2006
3,228
2,541
The old world
Understood - but it HAS to have sliding rear doors to be one. Requirement. :homer:
Oui oui, but that is according to your crude and unsophisticated American definition. :phone:
But honestly, most Euro’s idea of a van will be based on the Renault Espace, which never had sliding doors, while Americans will refer to some ancient Dodge. Lots of similarly sized subsequent Euro vans came with sliding doors, but that feature really isn’t essential for that vehicle class over here.
 

Westy

the teste
Nov 22, 2002
56,016
22,047
Sleazattle
Understood - but it HAS to have sliding rear doors to be one. Requirement. :homer:

You know - Mazda briefly made a "microvan" that was significantly smaller than most standard minivans. Pretty sure it was this Mazda 5:

AView attachment 140881
They probably still do, just not for the US market. I saw all kinds of mini minivans in Japan. Most of them were pimped out too.
 

Sandwich

Pig my fish!
Staff member
May 23, 2002
21,835
7,095
borcester rhymes
Wagons do not have minivan space. Wagons do not even have CUV space.

Hot take: Wagons are equally compromised as CUVs. Minivans are the most utilitarian.

No Metris AWD in USA (not sure if in Europe) so that'd be a no for now.
we been driving different wagons
 

SkaredShtles

Michael Bolton
Sep 21, 2003
67,858
14,181
In a van.... down by the river
Oui oui, but that is according to your crude and unsophisticated American definition. :phone:
But honestly, most Euro’s idea of a van will be based on the Renault Espace, which never had sliding doors, while Americans will refer to some ancient Dodge. Lots of similarly sized subsequent Euro vans came with sliding doors, but that feature really isn’t essential for that vehicle class over here.
Interesting - they all appear to be categorized as "compact MPVs" - and they are what we would call simply hatchbacks over here.