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So The Second Ex Wife Just Called to See if I Wanted to Buy Her Drinks Tonight...

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by stinkyboy, Mar 10, 2008.

  1. stinkyboy

    stinkyboy Plastic Santa

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    And it took her about seven minutes before she realized she had called the wrong Brian.

    "Omygod, is this Brian, Brian?"

    Dumb biatch.
     

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  2. BurlyShirley

    BurlyShirley Rex Grossman Will Rise Again

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    Should have said yes, and hit it once more for old times sake.
     
  3. r464

    r464 Turbo Monkey

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    Love, ain't it a splendid thing
     
  4. loco-gringo

    loco-gringo Crusading Clamp Monkey

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    So, are you going???
     
  5. stinkyboy

    stinkyboy Plastic Santa

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    She's living with some guy who travels a lot...

    She has a small mole on her inner thigh, so when I asked if the mole needs some attention, she freaked, called me an ass and hung up.

    :monkeydance:
     
  6. BurlyShirley

    BurlyShirley Rex Grossman Will Rise Again

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    Nice. :biggrin:
     
  7. dan-o

    dan-o Turbo Monkey

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    My friend George Jones told me a similar story:

    (She thinks I still care.)

    Just because I ask a friend about her
    Just because I spoke her name somewhere
    Just because I rang her number by mistake today
    She thinks I still care.

    Just because I haunt the same old places
    Where the mem'ry of her lingers ev'rywhere
    Just because I'm not the happy guy I used to be
    She thinks I still care.

    But if she's happy thinkin' I still need her
    Then let that silly notion bring her cheer
    But how could she ever be so foolish
    Oh, where would she get such an idea.

    Just because I ask a friend about her
    Just because I spoke her name somewhere
    Just because I saw her then went all to pieces
    She thinks I still care.

    She thinks I still care...
     
  8. loco-gringo

    loco-gringo Crusading Clamp Monkey

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    Hick. :D
     
  9. dan-o

    dan-o Turbo Monkey

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    :busted:
     
  10. DRB

    DRB unemployed bum

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    alabama hot pocket
     
  11. AngryMetalsmith

    AngryMetalsmith Business is good, thanks for asking

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    No more Urban Dictionary for you.
     
  12. OrthoPT

    OrthoPT Monkey

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    OMFG, that is so horribly evil. I need to share that at work tomorrow. :clapping:
     
  13. jebfour

    jebfour Turbo Monkey

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    If you're divorced (presumably don't talk, hate each other, etc.) then why does she have your number on speed dial? :busted:
     
  14. DirtyMike

    DirtyMike Turbo Fluffer

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    For when teh alimony payment is late.
     
  15. jebfour

    jebfour Turbo Monkey

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    ahhhh.... got it.
     
  16. caputo1989

    caputo1989 Turbo Monkey

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    I could have sworn you said, love it like a squeeling pig. :shocked:


    It took me a couple trys.:clapping:
     
  17. Red Rabbit

    Red Rabbit Picky Pooper

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    Yeah, she "accidentally" called the wrong number.

    Maybe she's looking for an easy way out of her current relationship?
     
  18. BIGHITR

    BIGHITR WINNING!

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    Things I would have said back.

    "You want to come by for my DINK tonight...., HUH!?"

    "My second WHO?"

    "Is this my first wife, or the Baracuda?"

    "OH YEH! I remember you, I thought this was the THIRD ex wife!"

    "Buy YOU drinks? How bout you taking some of that $500 a month for child support you suck out of me and buy ME A DRINK!!"
     
  19. brungeman

    brungeman I give a shirt

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    Drinks? Pfftt... How about a "hot lunch"?!:brows:
     
  20. offsprung

    offsprung Monkey

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    hit it and quit it... again
     
  21. sperkins

    sperkins Monkey

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    aw you should have pretended to be the other guy and then shown up and been like hey!
     
  22. LordOpie

    LordOpie MOTHER HEN

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    So he could be like...

    aww, it's you? I didn't know you like pina coladas?
     
  23. stinkyboy

    stinkyboy Plastic Santa

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    You suck for that.

    How do you not know what your ol' lady freaking drinks Rupert?
     
  24. jimmydean

    jimmydean The Official Meat of Ridemonkey

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    Man, that's how my ex ended up pregnant (by me).
     
  25. LordOpie

    LordOpie MOTHER HEN

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    Agreed!

    I bet Kizzi drinks Roofie Colada.
     
  26. Sherpa

    Sherpa Basking in fail.

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    :picsstfu:
     
  27. kidwoo

    kidwoo Celebrating No-Pants Day

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  28. reflux

    reflux Turbo Monkey

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    She hawt?
     
  29. bitingback

    bitingback Turbo Monkey

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    is that a rhetorical question?

    she was once with stinkyboy.
     
  30. MMike

    MMike A fowl peckerwood.

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  31. MMike

    MMike A fowl peckerwood.

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    just sittin' here drinkin' scotch


    Coming from me, that's pretty bad....
     
  32. tacklespore

    tacklespore Monkey

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    Why are divorces so expensive?



    Because they are worth it!
     
  33. stinkyboy

    stinkyboy Plastic Santa

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    Loco's evil twin got an account?
     
  34. loco-gringo

    loco-gringo Crusading Clamp Monkey

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    No, but he is my friend. You'll like him fine.
     
  35. Jimmy_Pop

    Jimmy_Pop Turbo Monkey

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    piihb