Tell us a story - blown opportunities to get some

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by MMike, Jun 25, 2008.

  1. MMike

    MMike A fowl peckerwood.

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    I was always pretty bad for this. A girl hits on me...or at least opens the window of opportunity, but I was too stupid to notice until a month or so later...."Hey....she was into me....DAWWWWWW!!!!!!"

    My last year of university, I was complaining to one of the girls I was going to school with that I was having trouble with my computer. She immediately offered to come by to help me out. "Gee that's nice of her" I think to myself.

    So later that afternoon we walk to my apartment....she's laughing at everything I say..."Gosh, she's in a good mood" I think to myself.

    We get to my place, the computer is in my bedroom...looking back it could not have been more obvious what her intentions were. She did everything shy of stripping naked. But I was too wrapped up in fixing my computer....which also never happened.

    Sufficed to say, an opportunity missed....and she was decently cute too.

    Years later I have been made fun of for this. A lot of "What the hell was wrong with you dude?"

    And alas, this was not an isolated case.

    Yes. I am an idiot.
     

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  2. splat

    splat Nam I am

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    Don't get me started, the list is long and it will make me cry.
     
  3. MMike

    MMike A fowl peckerwood.

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    It's ok. you're in a safe place.
     
  4. Westy

    Westy the teste

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    I was at a party and a girl I have never met before came up to me acting like we had known each other for years. She had some nice assets but a butter face and was clearly insane. As the night went on it was clear she wanted to take the next step in our nonexistant/fictional relationship, seeing as though I hadn't even figured out her name I thought it would be fun to seal the deal without ever knowing who she was.

    After the party I went back to her place and thigs got kind of weird, cliches from bad movies. She locked me out into the hallway of her apartment while she 'put on something more comfortable'. When she let me in she was wearing some strange lingere with more accessories than came in a box of legos. As things moved on and onto the bed I notided her college diploma sitting on a shelf. I finally knew her name and it ruined everything for me so I just got up, dressed and walked down to the bar. To this day I have no clue who she was.

    All my other blown opportunity stories are boring and usually are caused by me saying something sarcastic that is taken the wrong way.
     
  5. ukjason

    ukjason sexist pig

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    Yeah you see i should of done the same thing when my girlfriend sister came round to help out with some work.


    i got some work done but not the work i really wanted to get done
     
  6. Westy

    Westy the teste

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    Almost forgot. There was also this one time my freshman year I took this girl to her Sorority formal. Afterwards we went back to her room and at some point during the night I passed out while taking a dump in the womens bathroom. This was a girls dorm so all the bathrooms were womens. My date and her roomate had to put my pants back on me and drag me out of there. Seeing as though I didn't have swamp ass the next day I think I got a complimentary wipe or two out of the deal.:thumb:
     
  7. laura

    laura DH_Laura

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    I hope you knock her up.
     
  8. eaterofdog

    eaterofdog ass grabber

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    I been married for eons so I'm out.

    Last weekend, I did have a waitress decide to hit on me based solely on my owning a pair of Dragon Prog sunglasses. She was "eh whatever" when she took my order. (She was hot and I was checking her.) I get up to do something and I see her pick up the sunglasses and check them out. When I come back she's all "What's your name, do you live around here? You're cute."

    I guess Dragon is a hot brand or whatever. I just bought em cause I liked em.

    Also, if you want women to hit on you, get married. You'll be fighting them off. Blah.
     
  9. CrabJoe StretchPants

    CrabJoe StretchPants Reincarnated Crab Walking Head Spinning Bruce Dick

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    A girl I went to high school with and I got a lot closer during college (were more acquaintances in high school), and eventually it went from friends to that weird more-than-friends stage. I realized soon after she was pretty much the female version of me, and could definitely see myself with her for a long time. But I, being the idiot I am, was afraid of something (don't know what to this day), and would never take it to the next level. It basically turned into a year-long struggle of where to go (she wanted a serious relationship, I was more into the fun stuff with no "obligations"), and eventually wound up with us not talking for over a year. She has since been with another guy for over a year, which I'm glad since she's happy and doesn't have to deal with my immature bull**** anymore. I'm now just trying to make things right and build up the friendship again, but it kills me knowing I missed a great opportunity to be with a great girl, all because of my stupidity.
     
  10. MMike

    MMike A fowl peckerwood.

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    Yeah I've got more than a few of those......where for some idiotic reason, I thought it was more important to get that zinger out there than to get laid....
     
  11. splat

    splat Nam I am

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    Ok Well I was at this party and I was taking it easy because I had a Road race the next day. I met this chick and in talking with her e, she was telling me she was a tri-athlete. well I told her I was doing a bike race the next day, she seamed interested and we talked about bikes for a long time. at one point I got up to get us a refill of drinks , and she went to use the Bathroom, when I came back and continued I noticed , her shirt was open quite a bit more and she was no longer wearing a bra. ANd I just sort of went home , alone with out getting her number or anything ... But wait I get to really screw it up again . I get to the My race and check in. I Get there Just before the cat 5 's go out and sure enough she comes running up to me. After talking with her the night before she told me she decided to try a road race, and tells me to give her a kiss for luck , as she dashes off to line up for the start of the womens race . She does her race, I line up with the cat 4 men, do my race , I forget where I finished , in the top 10 somewhere I know I didn't win. After I finish she is waiting for me. and talk for a bit what the THe other races, then she offers to give me a Message provided I give her 1 first , so we go back to my Place ( it was closest ). She lies down on my bed takes off her Jersey and I begin rubbing down her legs , arms and Back , and Mid way through she taked her Bra off , and I fishins up on her back , then she says Ok You turn , she get up ( with out covering up ) and I lay down , and I fell asleep while she was massaging my back , I woke up she was gone and I never saw or herd from her again .
     
  12. Westy

    Westy the teste

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    I've always thought it was more important to stick to your principles. I messed up another opportunity once because my date wanted me to request that the DJ stop playing Pink Floyd and play a song from Grease instead. I refused, actually I started ranting and raving. Priciples
     
  13. CrabJoe StretchPants

    CrabJoe StretchPants Reincarnated Crab Walking Head Spinning Bruce Dick

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    :shocked::shocked::shocked:
     
  14. binary visions

    binary visions The voice of reason

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    Why do you think he went to sleep? He was done.
     
  15. TN

    TN Hey baby, want a hot dog?

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    Is that what you call yours?

     
  16. splat

    splat Nam I am

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    I wish :(
     
  17. I Are Baboon

    I Are Baboon Run, Forrest, Run!

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  18. johnbryanpeters

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    too many to list, and it makes me weep...
     
  19. Spero

    Spero ass rainbow

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    The summer after my freshman year of college I was living in Austin with a good friend of mine. One night his friend with benefits decides to bring two of her fairly attractive friends over for some drinks at my place. Things went off well and my only problem at the time was trying to decide when/if/how to choose between the two girls as they were both obviously interested. The night progressed and we were all getting pretty liquored up playing drinking games to 80s flicks when one of the girls asked about my long travel bike. Well, my friend was also a pretty decent rider at the time so we decided to take the bikes out and do some showboating. Long story short, I tried to gap a stair set outside the apartments with a half shell helmet on and bit it pretty hard, scraping up my cheek and jaw badly. After that everything went downhill and the girls all left. :imstupid:
     
  20. Da Peach

    Da Peach Outwitted by a rodent

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    Oh man. I got a friend back home who's kind of an academic, so he's constantly surrounded by younger women. And they always seem to be smokin' hot.

    I must have met 3 different girls through this guy that were into me. Physical contact flirtation, innuendo, alcohol. The conditions were always just right. Apart from the fact that at the time, I was in a serious "relationship".

    Idiot.
     
  21. stevew

    stevew unique white person

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    I heard you passed on Eve?
     
  22. I Are Baboon

    I Are Baboon Run, Forrest, Run!

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    I can't believe nobody jumped on this.
     
  23. Da Peach

    Da Peach Outwitted by a rodent

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    Must spread.
     
  24. N8 v2.0

    N8 v2.0 Not the sharpest tool in the shed

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    tell us about that Nubian back when you were in Caesar’s Legions...
     
  25. eaterofdog

    eaterofdog ass grabber

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    hey Y'all, Watch This!!!
     
  26. Spero

    Spero ass rainbow

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    :rofl::rofl: Wasn't the first time that those words came from my mouth.
     
  27. MMike

    MMike A fowl peckerwood.

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    Me either...I lobbed that one out there as a "gimme"
     
  28. Quo Fan

    Quo Fan don't make me kick your ass

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    I was working as a sound man and the band had finished for the night, so I was breaking down the equipment. I was taking the mics off the drums and a chick came up to me and started talking to me like I was part of the band. She was kind of drunk, and I was busy, so I kind of blew her off. Later I noticed she latched onto the guitar player of the band.
     
  29. eaterofdog

    eaterofdog ass grabber

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    You and me both. I usually land on my face too. The good news is it gives me that "rugged" look.
     
  30. trailhacker

    trailhacker Turbo Monkey

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    Riding my bike around Red Square on the UW campus doing my best trials (wannabe) immitation on all the stairs, ledges and other obstacles; "urban" before it was "urban".
    When I got to the top of the stairs in front of the library this cute girl started peppering me with questions. How did I learn to do that, all kinds of stuff about my bike. She seemed very impressed.
    She looked like she was about 15 but I gave the benenfit of doubt as we were on a college campus. She started talking about wanting to learn how to ride a mt. bike if only she could find some one to teach her, and wanted to buy a bike if only she could find some one to help her pick one out, etc.
    Short story long I gave her some sound advice about some local shops and where she could find people to ride with...
    It only occurred to me later that she probably cared less about the bikes than me asking for her number.

    Again riding my bike doing my best trials (wannabe) immitation but this time at Greenlake (at the time voted the top "pick-up" spot in Seattle).
    This cute girl came out of the community center after playing basketball and was just watching me do my thing for a while. She had a low-end GT but it did have a (crappy) suspension fork.
    When I stopped to take a break she came over and started talking to me. All I really remember was she was Beth(?), she just moved here from the east coast somewhere and she really wished she could find someone to show her around Seattle and take her to do some real mt. biking. She kept reiterating the last two points.
    I gave her some sound advice about clubs that did rides and some local shops she could talk to about hooking up for rides, etc.
    Even though the little voice in the back of my head kept saying "offer to show her around, ask for her # or offer her yours", the other voices in my head drowned that one out.
    She finally just said, "well, I gotta' go" in a discusted manner and rode away...
     
  31. johnbryanpeters

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    There's something seriously disquieting in the fact that about the time you were posting this I was Googling the word Nubian...
     
  32. Westy

    Westy the teste

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    Looking for gladiator porn?
     
  33. binary visions

    binary visions The voice of reason

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    Wow, that's a coincidence.

    I was doing a Google Image Search for "nubile" too!







    Oh... Nubian. My mistake.
     
  34. eaterofdog

    eaterofdog ass grabber

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    This is a funny thread. I can just see the guys going "Aww, fsck!" later when they realize.

    Sometimes the ladies got to lay it on a little thicker for us to get it. My buddy had a girl stop by his house to "hang out." They were sitting around and he went over to check his email real quick. Two minutes later she walked over and stuck her completely naked ass in his face. Now that's a hint.
     
  35. skinny mike

    skinny mike Turbo Monkey

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    if i told all of my stories then i would probably crash the server.

    although one girl that i did hook up with in the fall was "together" with another girl at some point during the year. i think possibly making a girl switch teams is worse than not getting any in the first place.
     
  36. Westy

    Westy the teste

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    To quote George Carlin.

    Men are stupid and women are crazy. The only thing men are not stupid about is the fact that women are crazy, it is the only thing they are ever right about. Why are women crazy, because men are stupid.
     
  37. jimmydean

    jimmydean The Official Meat of Ridemonkey

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    :stupid:

    Look cool, act cool, then say something that's funny to you (and obviously not her) and your done.
     
  38. binary visions

    binary visions The voice of reason

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    No kidding.

    The first time antimony came over, we were on my couch and she decided to pick up and start working on a wooden cube puzzle I had on the coffee table. I know I'm thick about picking up hints sometimes, but to me that says, "I'm bored and you aren't occupying me."

    She later gave me crap for not making a move that night :rant:

    I think splat wins the prize for fouling up the most obvious pickup attempt, though. Usually when a woman takes her top and offers a massage, I think it's important to make a concerted effort to stay awake :D
     
  39. Da Peach

    Da Peach Outwitted by a rodent

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    I hear ya.
     
  40. trailhacker

    trailhacker Turbo Monkey

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    Sometimes that still doesn't do it...

    When we were much younger (18-19) we would party/drink in parks, woods, parking lots, etc.
    Me and the "easy" girl are the last two standing. She suggests we go sit in her car (70's Camaro) and get more comfortable. Its fall and little chilly so I think getting out of the weather would be delightful!
    After sitting in there and making chit-chat for about five minutes she starts asking "what I would really like to be doing right now". I forget my asinine response but she countered with, "no, what would you REALLY like to do RIGHT NOW".
    I knew what she was asking but just couldn't get myself to give the response she was looking for. Lucky for me what ever I said was close enough to indicate I wanted some and she was horny enough to not care that I was an idiot.