....and so the duck says: Not on MY bill, you don't!!
The punchline thread
- Thread starter MMike
- Start date
Wrecked 'im? Damn near killed 'im!
Piihb
One to hold the lightbulb and 99 to turn the house.
Look at that S car go!
...so one fish says to the other fish, "do you know how to drive this thing?"
I'm a panda.... look it up!
"Then I showed him!"
So I said "No, but that's a real nice ski mask!"
"Hell, I could see that her panties wouldn't fit me, so I took the bike.."
...to match all the other appliances in the house.
..there's no such thing as the tooth fairy.
"No no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."
...the other 4 to say "Fabulous".
...so the man says, "Here, iron this!"
"dam!"
...nothing, because you already told her twice!
...So the moral of the story is, never get a vasectomy from an unlicensed electrician!
...I like the way you think.
..."Achhk, you bahhhhhstaaard! That's not me bagpipe!"
...the president just took my knapsack.
...and so the rabbi looks at the priest and asks, "Do all Catholics wear bacon Speedos?"
Then the short guy pulls up his pants and says, "You're 35 and you still believe in leprechauns?"
So the personal injury attorney says, "Ha! Even the prostitute imprisoned in my basement dungeon could do better than that!"
...her husband thinks for a minute, nods and says, "Did he drop off the $200 he owes me?"
If the Foo sh!ts, wear it.
"My country TIS of thee..."
...rocky mountain oysters are bull testicles mate!
I'm a frayed knot.
The cashier smiles and says, "No, because you're ugly!"
"It's well known," laughs the Doctor, "that Abscess makes the fart go Honda."
Two obese Pattys, special Ross, Lester Sneeze, picking bunions on a Sesame Street bus.
...Someone dropped a quarter
...he makes it
...mommy, turn the lights on, daddy's parking the car in the garage!
...the car holds six!
...it's only kinky the first time
...flip her over, its an 8 year old boy