Jesus being fat sucks...
- Thread starter DirtMcGirk
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- tape worm time
i'm sorry, i really couldn't help myself.
that's why i didn't go to support group meetings in rehab. i didn't want to get wrapped up in the "crippled" mentality.
Garlic stuffed olives wrapped in bacon. Bake at 350 till crispy. Dash of Tapatio sauce.You mean like gorgonzola-stuffed prusciutto-wrapped figs?
FTMFW.
Cripes. I stepped on a scale for the first time in FSM only knows how long over at a friends house yesterday. Weighed in at a shocking 195. 
Most I've ever been. I haven't been riding much lately but I've probably doubled the amount of running I used to do, yeegads I need to lose some weight.
Most I've ever been. I haven't been riding much lately but I've probably doubled the amount of running I used to do, yeegads I need to lose some weight.
Don't obsess over it, Tubby.Cripes. I stepped on a scale for the first time in FSM only knows how long over at a friends house yesterday. Weighed in at a shocking 195.
I swear the dude behind the Subway counter in Santa Rosa has leprosy zits. I walked in one day, looked at his scarred and greasy (acne?) face and walked right out. I think he had super bad acne on his forearms too.
Eff that.
H8R - delicate flower?
i think what you meant is "binge, purge"Don't obsess over it, Tubby.
And most of those are in the 1500 calorie range the way they are pictured........
We weren't all born built like anorexic crack heads you know.Don't obsess over it, Tubby.
Gonna have to get more runs in at work I guess.
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Eat a fat bag of greasy black devil cocks, okay?H8R - delicate flower?
It's true. They're like little dirty buttholes. Gross.
I didnt know Jesus was fat...he always looks so fit.
(Forgive me if someone has gone this direction already...)
(Forgive me if someone has gone this direction already...)
Has anyone mentioned the time tested weight control properties of cigarettes? Calorie free ya know...
I brought this up the other day with the wife. "Sh*t, I'm going to have to start smoking to lose some of this weight."
Every time I see this thread title I start laughing all over again. I'm not a religious guy, but I bet the romans would have just given Jesus a fine or something if he was really fat... there's no way they would have swung a 350 pound guy up. Way too much hassle.
Would have put a whole different spin on Easter!
Would have put a whole different spin on Easter!
Oh so wrong. Increase muscle mass by 10%, then use those muscles while achieving cardiovascular output and your power output/kj burn skyrockets.
Replace 1/4 to 1/3 of the calories you burn during exercise while exercising to prevent catabolic state. Ride a bike with a powermeter to pinpoint caloric output within 5%.
I have nothing else to add, but I also ride the bleeding edge of these things, so my input is pretty worthless to most people.
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dude don't bring fvcking kilojoules into this.
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I would definitely run like hell if a bear was chasing me. I'd rather not be caught by a fat hairy gay man. (nttawwt)That's why you should only run when being pursued by a bear.
Or a mountain lion.
Running sucks.
I might stop and wrestle a cougar though.
So you sit there spinning cranks while shoveling in bowls of food, taking notes, drinking an 8-cup press full of coffee, three bottles of water and who-knows-what, while staring at a monitor?Today: 1009 and counting...
You need to get out more.
Did you actually read the thread.... or just that one single line?
Sure did, but "omg cafeen make u fat" instantly flipped on the "lolwut?" switch.
Full Trucker is smrt. Listen to him.
Disclaimer: I'm not fat, but have had portly times in my life.
Cliche - but the phrase lacking in the thread is "lifestyle change". Go read In Defense of Food or some other Pollanesque tome. The modern Western diet as a whole is nasty sh!t. Nutrition is the biggest key in weight loss - not what most people want to hear.
My fun tips on losing weight and maintaining a healthy physique:
A) Food journal. In modern America, we're conditioned to eat massive quantities of extremely calorie-dense food. The journal is not really necessary for an average lifestyle once you get a solid handle on what portioning SHOULD look like. A gram scale is handy here, but not necessary. There are a number of very useful online journaling apps that are very helpful.
B) Eat real food. Cut down on processed crap, shop the perimeters of the grocery store. Buy locally-made breads with a short ingredient list - anything from an industrial bakery is generally designed to last forever, and this often means inclusion of hyper-processed flours and glucose (HFC, typically). Another IDOF rule, but if it has more than five ingredients, you likely shouldn't eat it. Theories floating around that when you strip as much micro-nutrients as we have out of our food (read: uberprocessing), our bodies will get ravenous eating more of the MN-deficient stuff in search of those MN levels.
C) Directly correlating to B, avoid artificial sweeteners. Popular with crash dieting. Your brain will become conditioned to your (likely) overintake of stuff containing them ('cause they're "free", right?). This generally leads to overintake of actual calorically taxing sweet crap when it IS available.
D) EAT FAT. Seriously. Avoid the "vegetable"-derived transfats that replaced that EVIL EVIL butter (and saturated fat) back in the day, 'cause that sh!t WILL kill you. But really...maintain fat intake, generally between 10-20% of total calories. It's the "lubricant" of your metabolism, and it's a key component towards making you feel sated during a meal.
E) Exercise. It really doesn't have to be anything too special unless you're trying to lose unholy quantities of weight in a short timespan - an hour of activity a day is going to do wonders. Just ****ing do it. Sidenote: The "fastest" general fat loss method is agreed to be around a 500 calorie deficiency a day (this equates to roughly a pound of bodyfat a week). More and you're *generally* risking muscle catabolism. Not to say you will, but once you get past that point things get unnecessarily complicated for average dude. Second sidenote: Just because you rode your bike for an hour doesn't mean you need an 800 calorie "recovery" shake. In fact, I'd wager that most people here don't need to eat/drink nutritional products to adequately recover from a workout. Just eat food.
F) Weigh yourself at the same physical state every day (I usually take an epic poop in the AM and clock in) and write it down. Pay attention to general trends, not your weight differences from day to day. I've seen +/- 8lbs in a 24h period, but I'm a bit of a freak. Like the food journal, being obsessive here isn't really necessary after a few months. You'll know.
G) Lastly, remember that alcohol is the most useless of all calories (and at 7kcal a gram, a hefty one too). It must be converted into bodyfat before you can use it as fuel. Imbibe in moderation usually, and in excess occasionally.
I've found that for most average people, there's a whole lot of overly complex horsesh!t when it comes to losing weight and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. It really doesn't take a whole lot of thinking or science to get down into that "normal" bodyfat 15% percentage range, unless you're impatient. Eat real food (and not a fvckton of it), stay active, and listen to your body (like...eating when you're hungry).
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