Leogang 2021!!!
- Thread starter slyfink
- Start date
HOLY FUCK
i'm just excited. it's been a while. yay dh!
i'm just excited. it's been a while. yay dh!
I just dont get these welding shields on people's faces. Like they have no mirror to check the look. Yes boi, you look shit. Here I demand a style police for world cup riders, governend by UCI ov korz. Penalty should be a couple of cut spokes or pre-determined flats by de lizzurdz.
Fuck yes!
Boo satellite internet out in the boonies, I barely got through the track walk in 480p.
I see some parking in town and sitting in the back of the truck yelling in my future.
I feel you pain Blenki, that's what I look like if I try to grow facial hair also....
Boo satellite internet out in the boonies, I barely got through the track walk in 480p.
I see some parking in town and sitting in the back of the truck yelling in my future.
I feel you pain Blenki, that's what I look like if I try to grow facial hair also....
PB Fantasy League is open.
Brendog is questionable due to a hand infection.
Brendog is questionable due to a hand infection.
152 in men's that's a stacked crowd ..
Surprise, surprise. The course is a complete mudfest again. Fingers crossed it dries out some for finals.
i 100% disagree. hart and hill put down two of the most legendary runs ever in shit conditions. it's much more entertaining to see who can adapt and deal.
anyhoo, here's a vid of the track in its current conditions
anyhoo, here's a vid of the track in its current conditions
while hart's champery run was soggy, the track was still quick - ie, didn't have the deep peanut butter speed & soul-sucking goo (in the lower woods) that we're seeing here. tho there's still a few riders that can make this shit work (looking at you, thirion).
it also lets you know who the whiners are.
also, hopefully the drone doesn't sound as loud to him as it does on the camera.
also, hopefully the drone doesn't sound as loud to him as it does on the camera.
Super stoked to see some racing again! Love it when the conditions change constantly in the lead up, makes the puzzle that much more challenging for everyone on several levels. That said, hope things settle down for the actual racing and we get a level playing field.
someone do the sweaty guy button choice meme with "want loris to win" and "want trek to lose" buttons, plz
Very possible you get neither. Have to like Reece's changes again this year if it is a mud bog again.
brits in the bog ftw. now @jackalope's gonna have @Gary on the podium on an ebike powered by haggis and scotch
Teeming roomers.
Cathro didn't get in to race according to his insta, he's there though.
Holy fucking shit. Take Payet off of your fantasy team. https://m.pinkbike.com/news/florent-payet-out-of-leogang-world-cup-after-a-pole-struck-his-genitals.html
Danny Fart, just put a big gap on 2nd!
https://www.uci.org/mountain-bike/events/mercedes-benz-uci-mountain-bike-world-cup
North america leading out the Jr's.
https://www.uci.org/mountain-bike/events/mercedes-benz-uci-mountain-bike-world-cup
North america leading out the Jr's.
Damn, Troy just killed it. 
Dammit! It
sounded like he was having a ball too.
6 farkin seconds. Was he using faulty Saint brakes??Damn, Troy just killed it.
mr consistent must have been busy in the off season.Damn, Troy just killed it.
I don't know about you dirt buttons, but I for one am coke stoked about the Return of the Shredi. So let's start this European Vacation with the usual background deets:
* just like all my summer gloves are for 3 days after a ride, the track appears to be a slimey and shitty mess.
* in the Battle of Wagram in 1809, Napoleon soundly defeated his Austrian opponents, so this suggests the Frenchies are going to be in good shape on race day. Not to mention, frogs also really like muddy, sloppy conditions.
* it is expected that many vaccinated riders will dress up like Juggalos in hopes it will prevent their newfound magnetism from interfering with the function of coil springs, rotors and chains.
* A popular and traditional Austrian meal (that dates back to the early 12th century) consists of Vienna sausages squished between Vienna wafers washed down with Vienna coffee and some filthy type of fruit schnapps.
* If you're not racing on some hacked together prototype frame this weekend you have no chance. Stock frames are for losers.
* I have extended an invitation to Tracey Hannah to come over and watch the race with me, as I'm sure we could arrange for her to commentate remotely from my couch. No reply as of yet, but I have a fridge stocked with Fosters and vegemite sammiches - hard to imagine her turning that down. I even trained my dog to hop around on his back legs like a kangaroo. Needless to say, I have my romance kit in good order...
* As of yet, the US Forestry Service has not altered the moon's orbit, so this makes my predictions a little easier. That said, if/when the USFS uses UAP's to nudge the moon off course, the order of finishers will likely be reversed.
Ok, seems straight forward enough with all of the above data taken into consideration. So lets get on with it:
5. The Full Circle Human Centipede: Comprised of the most erudite and informed leaders the US has to offer, this triumvirate of intellectualism includes Marjorie Taylor, Boebert and Gohmert - all connected ass to mouth. So really its like a triangle of shit. Before the fateful union, all 3 chowed down on Wow potato chips and pepperoni Hot Pockets, so it should make for an eventful exchange. Given how difficult it would be to arrange a 3 person tandem DH bike, they decide to "roll coal"...which means they wrap themselves around a large coal boulder and tumble down the track at Mach Dumb AF.
4. Florent Payet: Sacre bleu balls! But didn't our fearless Frenchmen get speared in his man bag? How could he recover so quickly from such a heinous injury you ask? So heres the deal...what did Danny Hart need to win Champery in that mudfest? As Warner correctly observed - giant, massive, bloated testes. Likewise, the offending pole (which somehow didn't break like most Poles) is actually a blessing in disguise and made his junk get all swole. And lets face it - the difference between the top riders and the 33rd guy really comes down to testicular circumference. Now equipped with a dinosauric sized speed bag, Payet cruises home to a very respectable 4th place. *EDIT (forgot to add this for context)
3. @Toshi : That's right sports fans, e-bikes are a thing and they're now part of WC-DH racing, so deal with it. And there is no better e-evangelical than our beloved physician friend Toshi. One might find it odd that a man of medicine, who is well aware of the diabetic pandemic that is crushing our healthcare system under its literal and figurative weight, would be a proponent of these lithium powered obesity wagons, but its hard to argue about their performance advantages. Sure, it starts off as a "commuting tool" (despite likely living in area that is largely devoid of any real elevation gain), but then the next thing you know you're seriously considering buying an e-bike specific seatpost clamp. Eventually it was bound to find its way into the WC circuit, so why not let Toshi be the harbinger of synthetic insulin fueled "racing"? Astride his hefty commuter bike, Toshi doesn't have e-bike specific brakes or even a 300mm rear rotor so obviously he has no way to slow down. But he remembers what they say in autoracing about putting the gas down in turns so you don't lose traction, so with ample use of throttle, he "powers" his way to the 3 spot. Blood glucose levels of 400 for everyone!
2. Brendog's Swole Hand: So in this scenario, Brendan plays the role of Michael Caine from the classic noir flick "The Hand" and lops off his (self) infected hand to relieve the discomfort.
But alas, his splinter infused hand remains very much alive and eventually scrambles off into the night. Later, it punches him in mouth (which oddly helps his teeth alignment) and takes off with his number plate. Grasping a loose front wheel, our handy hero rolls down Leogang at breakneck speed, but with no neck to break, it slides into 2nd place. Later, during the after party, @mandown is seen fitting a rubber glove over the hand, so its doubtful Brendog will want his lost paw back after that evening.
1. Lizard Man: Who in the fuck else did you think was gonna win? Lizards always win you fools! So yep, this guy is your leader in the clubhouse after its all over:
Representing the Illuminati conglomerate Sramano, our reptilian amigo jumps on top of a 40' crab0n container box full of all manner of desperately needed bike components and slides down the hill with massive speed. Just plowing through stumps, tunnels and oddly placed wood bridges all the way to the finish line. To celebrate his grand achievement he sets the container box of precious goods aflame and informs the stunned crowd to expect XT derailleurs some time in early 2024. Suck it bishes!
Lady People:
1. (definitely not Tracey) Vali Holl'in arse
2. (not Tracey) Marine Caribou
3. (not Tracey) Pom Pom
4. (still not Tracey) Camille
5. (she's on my couch) Tawny
As always, can't wait to get pissed in the AM and watch the hawt mud wrasslin action.
* just like all my summer gloves are for 3 days after a ride, the track appears to be a slimey and shitty mess.
* in the Battle of Wagram in 1809, Napoleon soundly defeated his Austrian opponents, so this suggests the Frenchies are going to be in good shape on race day. Not to mention, frogs also really like muddy, sloppy conditions.
* it is expected that many vaccinated riders will dress up like Juggalos in hopes it will prevent their newfound magnetism from interfering with the function of coil springs, rotors and chains.
* A popular and traditional Austrian meal (that dates back to the early 12th century) consists of Vienna sausages squished between Vienna wafers washed down with Vienna coffee and some filthy type of fruit schnapps.
* If you're not racing on some hacked together prototype frame this weekend you have no chance. Stock frames are for losers.
* I have extended an invitation to Tracey Hannah to come over and watch the race with me, as I'm sure we could arrange for her to commentate remotely from my couch. No reply as of yet, but I have a fridge stocked with Fosters and vegemite sammiches - hard to imagine her turning that down. I even trained my dog to hop around on his back legs like a kangaroo. Needless to say, I have my romance kit in good order...
* As of yet, the US Forestry Service has not altered the moon's orbit, so this makes my predictions a little easier. That said, if/when the USFS uses UAP's to nudge the moon off course, the order of finishers will likely be reversed.
Ok, seems straight forward enough with all of the above data taken into consideration. So lets get on with it:
5. The Full Circle Human Centipede: Comprised of the most erudite and informed leaders the US has to offer, this triumvirate of intellectualism includes Marjorie Taylor, Boebert and Gohmert - all connected ass to mouth. So really its like a triangle of shit. Before the fateful union, all 3 chowed down on Wow potato chips and pepperoni Hot Pockets, so it should make for an eventful exchange. Given how difficult it would be to arrange a 3 person tandem DH bike, they decide to "roll coal"...which means they wrap themselves around a large coal boulder and tumble down the track at Mach Dumb AF.
4. Florent Payet: Sacre bleu balls! But didn't our fearless Frenchmen get speared in his man bag? How could he recover so quickly from such a heinous injury you ask? So heres the deal...what did Danny Hart need to win Champery in that mudfest? As Warner correctly observed - giant, massive, bloated testes. Likewise, the offending pole (which somehow didn't break like most Poles) is actually a blessing in disguise and made his junk get all swole. And lets face it - the difference between the top riders and the 33rd guy really comes down to testicular circumference. Now equipped with a dinosauric sized speed bag, Payet cruises home to a very respectable 4th place. *EDIT (forgot to add this for context)
3. @Toshi : That's right sports fans, e-bikes are a thing and they're now part of WC-DH racing, so deal with it. And there is no better e-evangelical than our beloved physician friend Toshi. One might find it odd that a man of medicine, who is well aware of the diabetic pandemic that is crushing our healthcare system under its literal and figurative weight, would be a proponent of these lithium powered obesity wagons, but its hard to argue about their performance advantages. Sure, it starts off as a "commuting tool" (despite likely living in area that is largely devoid of any real elevation gain), but then the next thing you know you're seriously considering buying an e-bike specific seatpost clamp. Eventually it was bound to find its way into the WC circuit, so why not let Toshi be the harbinger of synthetic insulin fueled "racing"? Astride his hefty commuter bike, Toshi doesn't have e-bike specific brakes or even a 300mm rear rotor so obviously he has no way to slow down. But he remembers what they say in autoracing about putting the gas down in turns so you don't lose traction, so with ample use of throttle, he "powers" his way to the 3 spot. Blood glucose levels of 400 for everyone!
2. Brendog's Swole Hand: So in this scenario, Brendan plays the role of Michael Caine from the classic noir flick "The Hand" and lops off his (self) infected hand to relieve the discomfort.
1. Lizard Man: Who in the fuck else did you think was gonna win? Lizards always win you fools! So yep, this guy is your leader in the clubhouse after its all over:
Representing the Illuminati conglomerate Sramano, our reptilian amigo jumps on top of a 40' crab0n container box full of all manner of desperately needed bike components and slides down the hill with massive speed. Just plowing through stumps, tunnels and oddly placed wood bridges all the way to the finish line. To celebrate his grand achievement he sets the container box of precious goods aflame and informs the stunned crowd to expect XT derailleurs some time in early 2024. Suck it bishes!
Lady People:
1. (definitely not Tracey) Vali Holl'in arse
2. (not Tracey) Marine Caribou
3. (not Tracey) Pom Pom
4. (still not Tracey) Camille
5. (she's on my couch) Tawny
As always, can't wait to get pissed in the AM and watch the hawt mud wrasslin action.
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