Or at least a series of potential misdemeanor's in Colorado Springs. My neighbor works in Denver for the FBI. I'm not really sure in what capacity, we never really talk, he's pretty reclusive. Lawn hardly ever gets mowed, lots of trash, house hasn't had paint in whats clearly been at least a decade, 1 immobile car etc. He also has two teenage daughters, the oldest of which is a walking Asian driver stereotype, she's no more that 20 and totaled her second car about a month ago. Little over a week ago a flat bed drops the car off, apparently they bought the wreck back and the daughter has been driving it ever since. Car still has grease pencil from the cops/towing company all over the windows, no license plates, and they've been parking it right in front of my house all week. This happened when the daughter totaled the Dodge neonrofl, apparently they don't want to have to look out their window and see a wrecked pile of a car so they park it in front of mine. I talked to them about this last time and got pretty much told to fvck off but they eventually moved it anyway. Couple days ago I come home and sure as the sun rises in the east, the new wreck is in front of my house. I'm already in an amazingly bad mood from dealing with the parts/"customer service" department at Colorado Springs BMW motorcycle and when I saw the car in front of the house I went into full boil. I went over to the neighbors and beat on the door and of course no one is home. My wife, who saw me come home is standing on the front porch when I come back tells me "the keys are still in the car". I go and look, sure as sh*t they are. In fact they are tied around the steering column with the steel cable the towing company/cops used to keep the keys with the car. It is physically impossible for the neighbors to remove the keys from the car. So I hop in (the car is disgusting inside, must have been 10000 cigarette butts) back the car up and park it in the neighbors driveway. I then grabbed a pair of wire cutters, clipped off the keys from the column, and threw them in the neighbors trash. Course, not 10 minutes goes by, neighbor and daughter come home and are on my porch asking if I know anything about it. I don't lie because I am furious and a confrontation follows where in I express my displeasure in no uncertain terms with the fact that I have to deal with them as neighbors. Things get pretty heated, I say GTFO and slam the door on them.
Yesterday morning I get a phone call from CSPD wanting to discuss the "incident" with said neighbor. The cop on the phone tells me twice, that this isn't because they were contacted by the neighbor, they were in fact contacted by my "neighbors employer and because of who they are and the nature of our relationship with them I was told by my boss to contact you". I was incredulous. "You mean because he works for the FBI you have to take time to call me about this even if he hasn't contacted you?" Cop was surprised I knew this and I told him I thought it irrelevant. Said I didn't give a sh*t if the neighbor was God himself, IMHO he is still a inconsiderate asshole. Cop proceeds to tell my I committed at least three misdemeanor offenses by moving the car, which in all honesty I pretty much knew I was committing at least one. Cop made me promise it wouldn't happen again and I thanked him for his time.
I guess what gets me, besides the fact that my neighbor is an inconsiderate, trashy low life, is the fact that it would seem that the FBI has nothing better to do than see to it that I get hassled by the man over a dispute with one of their employees? If the neighbor had called the cops and they had come over that would have been on thing, hell I expected it and if it had happened I'd have dealt with it then. But this round about "I have friends in high places" thing is fvcking retarded. I'm considering firing off an e-mail to the field office or DC and asking if this sort of closeted intimidation is typical or does it just happen here?